I only watched part of the show because honestly I was getting pretty mad, at both 20/20 and the parents on the show. Then I decided I wanted to watch the rest of it because I felt perhaps I shouldn't judge so harshly and see how they portray the end.
I have written a couple of times about the adoption of older children and how I feel they are the most in need of homes. I still feel that way. The sensationalism and fear of what "could happen" comes from shows like this one.
The beginning of the show had a set of parents that adopted 2 older girls from Russia. The oldest ended up having some issues with grief and loss. The part that bothered me the most was that after a week home, the older child was having a full blown grief episode and instead of sitting next to, and just being supportive and comforting, they followed her around with a camera and filmed her grief. Ok, I am no expert on grief support, but you follow me around with a camera and film my grief outbreaks, I might have to break a camera. They started immediately labeling her with an attachment disorder, instead of just realizing that perhaps this little girl just needed someone to be there, hold her, tell her that things would be ok, and put the daggon camera down.
I will be honest with you. If you had followed us around those first few weeks with E, you would have thought we had some issues. E had some behaviors from being in the orphanage for more than a year that were hard to deal with at first. That didn't make him broken, or attachment impaired, he was little, and scared and had no way to communicate to us his fears and grief... and very probable anger.
Adoption... shucks, parenting... is hard. Our kids do things that we have no idea how to handle, we do the best we can, we love the best we can, we hold them and love them and in some cases ask others for help.
Adopting an older child can be scary, and sometimes down right hard, but that doesn't make them less deserving or less lovable.
E isn't considered and "older" child, but he certainly wasn't an infant and already had some very definite personality traits. He has his own thoughts and his own feelings, and certainly his own opinions... and he still thinks he is the boss. ;o)
We have been home only a little more than 3 months. And now if you were to follow us with a camera you would see a totally different kid than he was in ET. And in another 3 months he will be even more different I am sure. He is loving, and snuggly, and just the other day started spontaneously saying to D and I , "I uv ooo". We aren't perfect parents, we haven't always done or acted the right way. We make mistakes, but we love him. We hold him, we understand that he will grieve the life he has left.
I pray that the family in the 20/20 show will somehow be able to heal, be able to help this young lady realize her full potential, and her worth as a human and child of God.