This past weekend was a God filled weekend.
Friday night S and I went to see Casting Crowns and Matt Redman. They were amazing!!!! Oh my goodness, I LOVE Casting Crowns, and even with Mark Hall having voice issues they were still awesome. So great to have a night out with my gal. ;o)
Saturday night was the spaghetti dinner fundraiser for our Ethiopia Mission team. It too was awesome. We really have a great team. We had a great set up, Ethiopian colors, pictures, mums (cause they were on sale and beautiful) and music by the African Children's Choir.
Not sure how many we actually served but we were able to bring in 1400.00! How great is that? Not bad for Spaghetti huh?
We had the opportunity to serve and then receive incredible blessing from the homeless community in our church neighborhood. Our church sits on the oceanfront so there is a large community of homeless persons that use our grounds to sleep on at night. We served them dinner and in return they stayed to help us clean up. It was hard to drive away in my warm van, to my warm home while they prepared their 'beds' in the overhang of the fellowship hall in the cold. What a humbling reminder of the 'good life' that we lead.
I had a conversation with one of the ladies about a Tupperware container. I was giving it to her to hold some left over brownies we had. She was going to wash it and bring it back to me. I started to tell her that we had just cleaned out our kitchen and had more of those than we needed.... I stopped myself. I was getting ready to admit my extreme gluttony to a woman who carried all that she owned on her back.
Ouch.
God showed us His glory....and then His mercy all in one evening.
I woke up sick Sunday morning and spent the day lounging on my couch watching a Hallmark marathon of Love movies. I thought alot about those that we had served the night before. wondering what else I could do to be the hands and feet to these people that sleep outside of our church, as we prepare a mission team to take care of children a world away.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Adoption is... a leap of faith
I totally realize that a ton of people adopt who do not believe in God, or Christ. This is in no way a slight to anyone!
The road for our family is paved with faith in God. I know that without our faith we never would have gone on this journey. Man am I glad we did... for so very many reasons!
It began for us November of 2004 at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. His story about adoption and the questions he asked the audience caused a God moment between my husband and myself that led us to hear Him leading us to adopt.
The road hasn't been straight, nor has it been easy. We ran into many obstacles. There was even a time in the beginning that we had a resounding NO from the legal stand point. God led us to get a law changed in our state so that we and other would be able to adopt.
Had we not been listening to another couple in church after we received the news that we could not adopt legally we never would have moved forward.
I will never forget the day we were sitting in the front row at church listening to the story of the couple who was adopting. I just began to sob...it was almost as if God had sat down beside me and said... You will do this too.
We began the process of changing the law. Anyone in politics knows that it's not an easy task. Have you ever listened to School House Rock? How a Bill becomes a bill. It's crazy! Only through God could that have happened. Even the guy representing us in the gov't wasn't all that optimistic. We showed him!
With that behind us we got to start the mounds of paperwork. Have you ever bought a house? Yep it's like that...only WAY more invasive. It's funny the only questions they asked me when I birthed my other 2 kids were whether or not I wanted an epidural.
When you adopt you get to answer things like what kind of childhood did you have, and how will you raise your children, and why you want to adopt. It's thought provoking really. I got to think about alot of areas that I needed to ask God to heal me in...as well as places I realized I had already put behind me.
My personal biggest test of faith came in the form of a terrible 4-letter word.... can you guess it?
It's W-A-I-T.
ugh! Honestly it's the hardest part.. waiting. Wondering. Stressing. And honestly we waited like a week to get N's referral and we chose E-Man so it's not like we had to wait all that long. (Those of you that have been waiting FOREVER, please forgive my brief whine. I SO feel for you.)
We did have to wait for some delays in E's court cases, there were papers missing and people to be found, and medical stuff to wade through. Nothing that is out of the ordinary truly. And the agency was great... I just spent ALOT of time whining to God about why we were still waiting...and pressing the refresh button on my email to see if I had gotten any news.
Choosing to adopt E-man as an HIV+ child was actually one of the easiest things for me to do. It took my hubby longer to come around...because he was scared. He still had the vision in his head of it being a death sentence. There ARE stigma's still out there...and still fear...but we clearly felt like because we wanted another child, we wanted one that needed us... as much as we wanted them. So this was a perfect fit.
Faith moved us through the decision to choose him. It moved us through those first few days when we were told he was probably not going to live, to those days in ET when we were overwhelmed, through 12 days in the hospital, to the stares from people wondering what was wrong with him because of all the molluscum and tubes.... and now into a place that we know we can handle whatever life throws at us.
The majority of adoptions are relatively easy. Some paperwork, some waiting, a referral, travel to meet your child and life moves on. NOT to minimize any one's journey, it's ALL worth it... but to let anyone who's thinking about adopting know that's good stuff! It's totally do-able... totally worth it.
Not everyone is called to adopt. I do get that too! But we can all help...it just takes a leap of faith.
The road for our family is paved with faith in God. I know that without our faith we never would have gone on this journey. Man am I glad we did... for so very many reasons!
It began for us November of 2004 at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. His story about adoption and the questions he asked the audience caused a God moment between my husband and myself that led us to hear Him leading us to adopt.
The road hasn't been straight, nor has it been easy. We ran into many obstacles. There was even a time in the beginning that we had a resounding NO from the legal stand point. God led us to get a law changed in our state so that we and other would be able to adopt.
Had we not been listening to another couple in church after we received the news that we could not adopt legally we never would have moved forward.
I will never forget the day we were sitting in the front row at church listening to the story of the couple who was adopting. I just began to sob...it was almost as if God had sat down beside me and said... You will do this too.
We began the process of changing the law. Anyone in politics knows that it's not an easy task. Have you ever listened to School House Rock? How a Bill becomes a bill. It's crazy! Only through God could that have happened. Even the guy representing us in the gov't wasn't all that optimistic. We showed him!
With that behind us we got to start the mounds of paperwork. Have you ever bought a house? Yep it's like that...only WAY more invasive. It's funny the only questions they asked me when I birthed my other 2 kids were whether or not I wanted an epidural.
When you adopt you get to answer things like what kind of childhood did you have, and how will you raise your children, and why you want to adopt. It's thought provoking really. I got to think about alot of areas that I needed to ask God to heal me in...as well as places I realized I had already put behind me.
My personal biggest test of faith came in the form of a terrible 4-letter word.... can you guess it?
It's W-A-I-T.
ugh! Honestly it's the hardest part.. waiting. Wondering. Stressing. And honestly we waited like a week to get N's referral and we chose E-Man so it's not like we had to wait all that long. (Those of you that have been waiting FOREVER, please forgive my brief whine. I SO feel for you.)
We did have to wait for some delays in E's court cases, there were papers missing and people to be found, and medical stuff to wade through. Nothing that is out of the ordinary truly. And the agency was great... I just spent ALOT of time whining to God about why we were still waiting...and pressing the refresh button on my email to see if I had gotten any news.
Choosing to adopt E-man as an HIV+ child was actually one of the easiest things for me to do. It took my hubby longer to come around...because he was scared. He still had the vision in his head of it being a death sentence. There ARE stigma's still out there...and still fear...but we clearly felt like because we wanted another child, we wanted one that needed us... as much as we wanted them. So this was a perfect fit.
Faith moved us through the decision to choose him. It moved us through those first few days when we were told he was probably not going to live, to those days in ET when we were overwhelmed, through 12 days in the hospital, to the stares from people wondering what was wrong with him because of all the molluscum and tubes.... and now into a place that we know we can handle whatever life throws at us.
The majority of adoptions are relatively easy. Some paperwork, some waiting, a referral, travel to meet your child and life moves on. NOT to minimize any one's journey, it's ALL worth it... but to let anyone who's thinking about adopting know that's good stuff! It's totally do-able... totally worth it.
Not everyone is called to adopt. I do get that too! But we can all help...it just takes a leap of faith.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Adoption is...the unknown
I can't tell you how many times people have said to me in one form or another that they could never adopt because "You don't know what you are getting".
Can I just say... oh good grief!.
Do you EVER know what you are 'going to get' with children? Even with bio kids there are no guarantees. You may be able to control what went in to your body while pregnant, but you still never know what they may look like, what the gene pool you belong to may bring... or even what kind of personality each child may have. I have known many a bio parent to look at their kids and go... man! Where did that come from?!
N was well loved before he came to us, he had been relinquished in August and then we picked him up in December. He was 2 yrs old. We weren't there to see him born, or take care of him those first 2 yrs. We weren't part of his birthing process or those formidable yrs of growth. There are still unknowns in his past and in his life. We have had to take a different approach to getting to know him and learning about the person that he is. Is it hard? Sometimes... but good grief, isn't all parenting hard in some aspect? We have to learn about all of our children, as they grow and form their own little personalities.
Health can be another unknown. We knew of E-man's HIV status when we chose him, but his subsequent hospitalization and health challenges were "bonus" material. Many times the medical situations in other countries are not the same as here in the US. Heck! We spent 12 days in our local 'specialized' children's hospital when we came home and even they were stumped most of the time with what to do with him.
How many parents have given birth to children to later find out they have a special need of some sort... they just do what needs to be done for that child.
For us, it was just as if we had given birth to him. We did have moments of great doubt and fear, but he was always ours and we were always focused on getting him well. Doing whatever it took. It did add a bit of a wrinkle that we spoke different languages and didn't know each other at all.
If you could see them now... my boys. My N who woke up this morning with a big old smile on his face and the first words coming out of his mouth as he rushed to hug me were "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
Or my E-man that has to kiss both of my cheeks, forehead, chin and nose before saying good bye in the morning at daycare.
I have known parents who have adopted 'healthy' infants only to find out they had special needs and children that were to have significant special needs only to find out that they were perfectly healthy.
It's ...unknown.
Where in life were we given guarantees on ANYthing? We weren't.
I wouldn't change the life we have been given for anything. It's been hard, it's been rocky...it's also been joyful and FULL of love. I have met amazing people and learned what it's like to live outside of my box.
I used to dislike the unknown... now...it's not so scary...it's Better than Good!
Can I just say... oh good grief!.
Do you EVER know what you are 'going to get' with children? Even with bio kids there are no guarantees. You may be able to control what went in to your body while pregnant, but you still never know what they may look like, what the gene pool you belong to may bring... or even what kind of personality each child may have. I have known many a bio parent to look at their kids and go... man! Where did that come from?!
N was well loved before he came to us, he had been relinquished in August and then we picked him up in December. He was 2 yrs old. We weren't there to see him born, or take care of him those first 2 yrs. We weren't part of his birthing process or those formidable yrs of growth. There are still unknowns in his past and in his life. We have had to take a different approach to getting to know him and learning about the person that he is. Is it hard? Sometimes... but good grief, isn't all parenting hard in some aspect? We have to learn about all of our children, as they grow and form their own little personalities.
Health can be another unknown. We knew of E-man's HIV status when we chose him, but his subsequent hospitalization and health challenges were "bonus" material. Many times the medical situations in other countries are not the same as here in the US. Heck! We spent 12 days in our local 'specialized' children's hospital when we came home and even they were stumped most of the time with what to do with him.
How many parents have given birth to children to later find out they have a special need of some sort... they just do what needs to be done for that child.
For us, it was just as if we had given birth to him. We did have moments of great doubt and fear, but he was always ours and we were always focused on getting him well. Doing whatever it took. It did add a bit of a wrinkle that we spoke different languages and didn't know each other at all.
If you could see them now... my boys. My N who woke up this morning with a big old smile on his face and the first words coming out of his mouth as he rushed to hug me were "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
Or my E-man that has to kiss both of my cheeks, forehead, chin and nose before saying good bye in the morning at daycare.
I have known parents who have adopted 'healthy' infants only to find out they had special needs and children that were to have significant special needs only to find out that they were perfectly healthy.
It's ...unknown.
Where in life were we given guarantees on ANYthing? We weren't.
I wouldn't change the life we have been given for anything. It's been hard, it's been rocky...it's also been joyful and FULL of love. I have met amazing people and learned what it's like to live outside of my box.
I used to dislike the unknown... now...it's not so scary...it's Better than Good!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Adoption is ...a process
In as much as adoption is a miracle...adoption can be a hard process.
We have had some challenging behaviors. Still sometimes do. But nothing that can't be handled with the help of prayer and a little understanding.
To be honest not all the challenging behaviors were from the kids. Some of those were ours. Our reactions to things that probably could have been handled better. It's all about parenting, and in some ways parenting differently that one would normally do.
Adoption is bringing a child into your home, heart, soul that did not grow in your body. As a mother I wonder if it's the feeling a father gets not having the opportunity to carry the life in his own body. I was reading a blog today that spoke about the 'weirdness' of meeting this child you had been trying to attach yourself to through pictures and stories from others.
I do not love my adoptive children any less than my bio kids. It's just different....like the way I love my bio kids differently from each other. It's amazing, the capacity to love that God gives us. My children are mine. Period. Mine... well God's first...then mine. There was just a different process in the falling in love with each child. All of them growth processes.
When N came home I was struck by the lack of love I felt in the beginning. I didn't dislike him by any stretch... just felt mostly guilt in not loving him immediately. I spent many a night rocking him and crying and asking God to give me the heart to love him as God loved him. As I prayed God did give me that heart. My beautiful, sweet, crazy, smart, fearless, talkative, rebellious, loving, spiritual, boy is my heart. Just this weekend he said to me "Mommy, do your hands I am going to pray for you". He then proceeded to pray out loud... about the environment and keeping it clean. Not sure how that pertained to me, but I LOVE that he has the heart for prayer and for the Lord. He's recently begun to tell us "I will love you forever, no matter what!" To which we respond exactly the same. Sweet boy.
Parenting N has pushed, pulled, prodded, and molded us into new and better people. I am forever thankful for him. I love being his mom!
We have had some challenging behaviors. Still sometimes do. But nothing that can't be handled with the help of prayer and a little understanding.
To be honest not all the challenging behaviors were from the kids. Some of those were ours. Our reactions to things that probably could have been handled better. It's all about parenting, and in some ways parenting differently that one would normally do.
Adoption is bringing a child into your home, heart, soul that did not grow in your body. As a mother I wonder if it's the feeling a father gets not having the opportunity to carry the life in his own body. I was reading a blog today that spoke about the 'weirdness' of meeting this child you had been trying to attach yourself to through pictures and stories from others.
I do not love my adoptive children any less than my bio kids. It's just different....like the way I love my bio kids differently from each other. It's amazing, the capacity to love that God gives us. My children are mine. Period. Mine... well God's first...then mine. There was just a different process in the falling in love with each child. All of them growth processes.
When N came home I was struck by the lack of love I felt in the beginning. I didn't dislike him by any stretch... just felt mostly guilt in not loving him immediately. I spent many a night rocking him and crying and asking God to give me the heart to love him as God loved him. As I prayed God did give me that heart. My beautiful, sweet, crazy, smart, fearless, talkative, rebellious, loving, spiritual, boy is my heart. Just this weekend he said to me "Mommy, do your hands I am going to pray for you". He then proceeded to pray out loud... about the environment and keeping it clean. Not sure how that pertained to me, but I LOVE that he has the heart for prayer and for the Lord. He's recently begun to tell us "I will love you forever, no matter what!" To which we respond exactly the same. Sweet boy.
Parenting N has pushed, pulled, prodded, and molded us into new and better people. I am forever thankful for him. I love being his mom!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Adoption is a miracle...
Just this weekend I was reminded just how amazing adoption is, and how very grateful I am that God allowed us to be part of His plan.
His miracle.
Last year on Halloween we were at church. E had been home just at 2 months. He had no idea what was happening. He was Elmo, but only because he liked the costume, not because he knew who Elmo was.
He had had surgery a week or so before and was just generally out of sorts. He wanted nothing to do with the pony rides, literally screamed and clung to me when we went anywhere near them. Couldn't climb the air slides, and didn't like candy.
This year I was struck with the child he has become. He is confident. He's strong. He excited and animated. He LOVED the pony's. He climbed the air slide all by himself several times and slid down all by himself.
I had spoken to a teacher of his that day at his preschool and she said how much everyone loves him. In Ethiopia he wasn't the favorite child. He wasn't ignored, but he didn't get special treatment. He so sick and a mess physically when he came home, he had been the butt of jokes and teasing from the other children. He was so weak and unstable.
LOOK what God can do! LOOK what we can do if we step out.... look at the life that has been changed! His AND ours!
The latest number of children considered orphans is an astounding 147 million. Can you wrap your head around that?! 147 million. 147 million. Say it out loud....
It's an amazing number isn't it?
My 2 little boys are faces that can be attached to that number no more. They are home and loved and cherished. They know what it's like to be the special one, they know what it's like to know full belly's and a big boy bed.
This is National Adoption Awareness Month.
Do something. Do SOMEthing.
Pray.
Find an adoption fund and donate so that other's can fulfill the call to adopt.
Pray about adopting yourself. Yes you can do it! Yes you CAN!
I would adopt again in a heartbeat if we had the funds to do so. I know there are other's out there that would do the same. If God's not calling you to adopt... help someone who is.
Together we can make a change. Together we can give homes to baby's that need one.
Together we can make a change in one child at a time.
Be part of the miracle of adoption.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
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