Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Perspective

I have learned so much about myself these last couple of months... or has it only been weeks? ;o)

I have had to go into the office a couple of hours recently to make up some time,cause I am out of vacation time and money...LOL... but I have so much to do outside of work. ;o)

Anyway...One thing I have found is that things are different.  When we first got back from ET with N I was lost... I had no idea what to do with myself.  So much of what I saw over there just made broke me, I wanted to do something, fix it, change it, sell all my possessions and save the world...you know... just kind of freaked out.

Then life settled in, and we began to look towards our next adoption and began to focus there.

Then E got sick and we waited, and then we got to ET and were tested beyond what we thought we knew how to handle.  And THEN we got home and we hadn't even seen testing.  I have learned about patience like never before, I have learned the meaning of humble.... all those things I thought I did well, and all those things I thought I could handle became unmanagable... I had to actually rely on my God like never before.  I will totally admit to forgetting that I needed Him in some of those times.  And I will admit to being less than Christ-like when dealing with nurses and doctors that just didn't do what I wanted them to...lol  But without Him I would never have survived with my sanity in tact...and we aren't done yet. ;o)

Going to work was so anti-climatic.  The worries and differences and fears and struggles just weren't the same... they were so ... trivial.  

I have other focus now... I can't quit work or anything yet...lol  but I sure will look at it in a different light.  


2 comments:

Angela said...

wow. i needed to read that just now. haaaaaaaaaaard last few hours around here...
i thank GOD for my dh who read a story and put the kids to bed, so i could take a hot bath...

Andrea said...

What a great post. I do appreciate your honesty about your patience cuz i have nothing these days. You have been tested beyond your wildest dreams and I just admire your courage every day. Thanks for letting me to get to know you. And yes, isn't work just so trivial especially if you hear people whine all day over nothing?