Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Perspective

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Eph 4:22-24

As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other...Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Col 3:12 -14

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Eph 4:1-2

The verses above were in my leadership lesson for yesterday.

These verses just kind shot little arrows of conviction into my heart.

I fail so often as a light, as a representative of Christ. I fail more often as a parent than in any other place.

I was reading a blog yesterday by a wonderful mom who spoke about control in parenting ...about how it doesn't work. Not in the literal sense. Controlling my children isn't my goal, although it seems to be the way I tend to go...not intentionally. But I think my unconscious thoughts have been "I have to control this behavior or it will get out of hand"

On some level ending behaviors is certainly the goal, but I obviously have to work out a different method. lol... I feel like I have tried everything. But I know there is something else that I can try.

Yesterday N made some bad choices at school. S called me to let me know after N came home. Right after her call I got a call from a customer. Some how we got to talking about kids and he was telling me about his 5 yr old and his behavior. It was refreshing to hear of a father having the same concerns as I have. Thank you God for that call.

Last night we talked about choices, how we can choose to make bad choices and we can choose to make good choices.

Afterwards I began to think of the verses above that I had read earlier in the day. I can choose to make good choices myself. I can choose to be grumpy and annoyed and frustrated or I can choose to live in the light and love of Christ.

The verse E is memorizing this week is I am fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:14 The boys and I worked on memorizing it last night. ( I so wish you could hear E say it. It's so stinkin cute!!!)

This morning we spoke about what that meant... I want my kids to hold this verse in their hearts... I need to hold it in mine.

N IS fearfully and wonderfully made... I know this... His beautiful smile... his gorgeous dimples... the eyes that light up...his creative mind...the drama king, the brother that takes care of his siblings...the defender of all things girl...the momma's boy... the child who can eat until his belly is full. He is an amazing gift of God. He is 5 and he doesn't always make good choices... well good grief!!! I am 39 and STILL make bad choices every single day. What's my excuse?

Today I choose to make it a better than good day! I am in prayer N's is as well.

5 comments:

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

WOW great things to really think about! Thank you!

Tiffany said...

good stuff, Andrea!

Our journey following Christ said...

Andrea,

Isn't that so true??

I think Christian parents are the WORST controllers. I count myself among these...or at least I can say I am a reformed controller. We are so performance based in our parenting, aren't we??

"What will they think at church when they see my kid acting like THAT?"

"What will they think at church if they see my kid dress like THAT?"

"What will they think at church if my kid gets his ear pierced, or has a mohawk or whatever?"

What we're really saying is, "How will this make ME look?" So wrong.

If it isn't a sin issue, which NONE of the above are, don't worry about it! Having gone through parenting older kids has taught me that.

There is a book I love called, "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel. It's brilliant and freeing and scripture based.

If we would just learn to give the control to God (He has it anyway!) and just PRAY for our kids, we'd all be miles ahead.

My older kids call me out on this every so often and I need a 'reminder' of Who is in control.


Great topic, Andrea!

Blessings,
Laura

LisaShaw said...

Remain encouraged in your awesome parenting through GOD's leading dear friend.

Your children are teaching you as much as you are teaching them :)

Love you.

Adeye said...

Such a great post friend. I am sooooo with you----still learning, and failing, and learning, and failing. I am so thankful God is so merciful and so gracious with me.