Since my "wimpy" post I have been doing alot of thinking and praying about, well, my roll as a parent.
This morning I received a devotional via email that gave me 2 great verses.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you." James 1:5a (NLT)
"Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding." (NLT) Proverbs 2:2-3
I started out parenting at a young age and when we decided to adopt after parenting for many years I thought it would be easier. I had learned through trial and error growing up with my children. Perhaps that was where I stumbled a bit. You never know it all especially in parenting. And hearing where I need to grow and change, while painful, is a good lesson. Because regardless of what I may think, Z's assessment of my parenting short falls, are his reality.
I can learn from what he told me. As Lisa said, there aren't perfect parents, but I feel we are to strive to bring up our children under God's love. I frequently pray to love my children with the heart of God. When we first brought N home, and we were in the throws of learning about each other and dealing toddler AND adoption issues, I often rocked him to sleep crying out to God for His Grace and strength and to be given the ability to love his child, this gift with the heart of Christ. And He gave me that love.
I have been thinking about how I will need to grow as N and E grow. With N we will deal with childhood issues, adoption thoughts, and unfortunately racism. He will need to know that we are parents that can listen, understand and love him unconditionally. We will need to be firm and loving and understand that he will experience things that we never have, and give him guidance as to how to handle these issues. E will have the added stigma of his illness. I can't be a parent that isn't willing to hear that I have places to grow and improve and strengthen.
So I ask Christ today give me the wisdom to parent as He would have me, with His heart and His grace. I know I will fall short. ;o) I will just continue to pray. ;o)
Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. And also the reminder of those times when I was a teen, and not so nice myself. Can't be but so arrogant and "holier than thou" when you are reminded of your short comings ;o) I prefer to be humbled. ;o)