Sunday, December 28, 2008


You know what I love about God?  His timing and His word. ;o)
I also love how every week in church He speaks to me in ways that I didn't know I needed until I hear them.

Today's sermon was about "pondering".  In Luke 2:19 "but Mary quietly treasured these things in her heart and thought about them often".  How Mary had been chosen to carry God's child.  Of all the people in the world, do you think she wondered... 'Why me?'  When she held that child in her arms and gazed into his eyes, did she wonder what her life would be like?  Did she think, 'How in the world do I raise GOD's son?'.  Did she feel alone, or fully surrounded and loved by His presence?

How often are we given things in life to ponder?  How often are we handed a task, or experience when we just think... "How in the world am I going to do this???"  Or "Why on earth would God choose me?"

When we first decided to adopt a child the second time and chose to adopt a child with HIV, we weren't sure we were hearing God right.  Several family members were SURE we weren't hearing God right.  We prayed, did a ton of research talked to dr's and other parent's who had been there done that.  And we still were scared to death. When we got to Ethiopia and found E in the state that he was in, and then spent those endless days in the hospital, there were countless times that we just sat in a daze and asked God what in the world were you thinking?? Why us, we aren't special, we aren't profound, we aren't worthy...and at some points weren't exactly sure it's what we wanted to be honest.

But again in today's sermon our pastor said that those things we ponder as His will, that are true and right, are things that He already pondered before us and chose us to fulfill. God pondered ... before us, He thinks about us, He chooses us.  

An analogy pastor used was, it's like when we first learn to ride a bike, we aren't alone.  As we wobble and teeter we are being held and steadied by the hand of a loved one... someone guiding us and keeping us upright.  That's how our God is, He holds us steady, He is always there guiding and steadying.

We still have no clue why God chose us to be the parent's of any of our kids to be honest, but more specifically N and E.  Why E is our son.  Why we were chosen to be the parents of this little gift.  Now we thank God for placing him in our lives, we thank him for expanding our horizons and views.  We thank him for showing us that there is so much more to life.  Why we are having the trial of N's behavior's and as they are easing... what we can continue to do that is right for him and his little being.

Someone asked me the other day if we were done adopting.  lol  My hubby would tell you yes... but I will always have a place in my heart for another.  Just today I saw a picture of a young man that touched my heart... I will pray.  But honestly it would take a lottery win for us to be able to adopt again...LOL  

So today I will treasure those things that God has shown me.  The lost, the scared, the unloveable, the loveable, the joyous, those in pain, those in fear, the homeless, the widows and the fatherless.  I will treasure His love and His trust and pray that I am able to return that trust and have Him guide me where He may. ;o)


Tiffany said...

Thanks for sharing this. I often wonder "why me?" as well, but I know God has His reasons even if I don't understand them. I love what your pastor said about the fact that God ponders these decisions before we reassuring that all we are asked to do is seek His will. He'll do the rest. A good reminder for where we are right now!

Marissa said...

I can relate to this all too well. It's nice to know that I'm not all alone in my fears and confusion. I'm sure we both now officially accept that God doesn't make mistakes. :)

Aaron said...

If you win the lottery, can you split the money with us so we can adopt again too?

Andrea said...

I tell you what if I win the lottery... I will be sharing!!! Promise! ;o)

Anonymous said...

The only thing you got wrong in this post is that you guys definitely ARE special, you ARE profound and you ARE worthy. HE knew that you would be the perfect parents for N and for E. It's a beautiful picture! :)

Love you!

Cindy said...

God does not make mistakes. He chose you to parent these precious ones for a reason - because you were the perfect parents to care for them for this time of their lives.
And, just like you - my heart is also always open for more of these precious blessings from the Lord! It will be exciting to see what God has planned for both of our families! I think before either of us adopt again, we need to first actually meet in person! Otherwise, we will just become way too busy to make it happen. Like we arent busy now?!!!
love ya!

Matthew and Amanda said...

Thanks for sharing that. Sometimes the road we travel does seem so intimidating and we feel so ill-equipped. What a wonderful relief to know we travel with the ONE who comes fully prepared!


Thankfulmom said...


This is a beautiful post. So often I look at my children who were once orphans and now are my children and I wonder, "Why them... why us?" God's plans are such much higher and greater than ours - it is beyond what I can imagine.