I also love how every week in church He speaks to me in ways that I didn't know I needed until I hear them.
Today's sermon was about "pondering". In Luke 2:19 "but Mary quietly treasured these things in her heart and thought about them often". How Mary had been chosen to carry God's child. Of all the people in the world, do you think she wondered... 'Why me?' When she held that child in her arms and gazed into his eyes, did she wonder what her life would be like? Did she think, 'How in the world do I raise GOD's son?'. Did she feel alone, or fully surrounded and loved by His presence?
How often are we given things in life to ponder? How often are we handed a task, or experience when we just think... "How in the world am I going to do this???" Or "Why on earth would God choose me?"
When we first decided to adopt a child the second time and chose to adopt a child with HIV, we weren't sure we were hearing God right. Several family members were SURE we weren't hearing God right. We prayed, did a ton of research talked to dr's and other parent's who had been there done that. And we still were scared to death. When we got to Ethiopia and found E in the state that he was in, and then spent those endless days in the hospital, there were countless times that we just sat in a daze and asked God what in the world were you thinking?? Why us, we aren't special, we aren't profound, we aren't worthy...and at some points weren't exactly sure it's what we wanted to be honest.
But again in today's sermon our pastor said that those things we ponder as His will, that are true and right, are things that He already pondered before us and chose us to fulfill. God pondered ... before us, He thinks about us, He chooses us.
An analogy pastor used was, it's like when we first learn to ride a bike, we aren't alone. As we wobble and teeter we are being held and steadied by the hand of a loved one... someone guiding us and keeping us upright. That's how our God is, He holds us steady, He is always there guiding and steadying.
We still have no clue why God chose us to be the parent's of any of our kids to be honest, but more specifically N and E. Why E is our son. Why we were chosen to be the parents of this little gift. Now we thank God for placing him in our lives, we thank him for expanding our horizons and views. We thank him for showing us that there is so much more to life. Why we are having the trial of N's behavior's and as they are easing... what we can continue to do that is right for him and his little being.
Someone asked me the other day if we were done adopting. lol My hubby would tell you yes... but I will always have a place in my heart for another. Just today I saw a picture of a young man that touched my heart... I will pray. But honestly it would take a lottery win for us to be able to adopt again...LOL
So today I will treasure those things that God has shown me. The lost, the scared, the unloveable, the loveable, the joyous, those in pain, those in fear, the homeless, the widows and the fatherless. I will treasure His love and His trust and pray that I am able to return that trust and have Him guide me where He may. ;o)