I am a guest author today

Hey there!
So I was so incredibly blessed to be asked to be a guest blogger today. Lisa at A Bushel and a Peck emailed me not too long ago and asked if I would write a post for her blog. They are out of town fulfilling a Wish for one of their beautiful children.

Lisa is an amazing woman. She's the mother of 11 children. I love to read her blog because she is always so insightful and real about her struggles and triumphs in parenting not only adopted children but her biological children as well. I learn something new every time I visit her. She was in Ethiopia and got to meet our E before we got there. Just when he was needing some love.

Please go check her blog out.
Blessings and Merry Christmas Eve!

Going on vacation and Merry Christmas!

Hello friends!

We are getting down to the wire, not only for Christmas (D is out now doing some last minute shopping) ... but also for packing for our trip.

I cannot believe we are almost there.

I am still fighting this cold. It's just a nasty winter thing, but I am not letting it get the better of me. ;o) Who has time for that any way?!

The boys are so excited about both Christmas and our trip. They must ask us 10 times a day to explain what we are doing and where we are going and how that involves Christmas and presents.

E has been pretty specific about what he wants for Christmas. He wants a Basketball Hoop and ball, a yo yo and a watch. So that's what he's getting. ;o) Easy enough. ssshhhh don't tell him.

N on the other hand has not been so easy. When we asked him what he wanted he said Santa would know. We asked him if he wanted to write Santa a letter. He said "Nope, Santa doesn't need a letter. He will just know what I want." Hope Santa doesn't disappoint.

Tonight we told them they would have to be up extra special early on Christmas morning because we had to get on a plane to go to Wyoming. They didn't seem too worried.

Tomorrow I work a half day, then off to my parent's house for lunch and presents, then home for some packing then to church for Christmas Eve service, then home to finish packing. Z is going to spend the night so that he can drive us to the airport in the morning. Then Wyoming here we come!!! We can't wait!!!

We are flying through Chicago... so please pray big prayers that we don't get stuck. I have already contacted a great friend in the city just in case and she's on stand-by. If any of you are near Chicago and would like to be extra stand-by let me know. ;o) The temps here in VA are going to be in the balmy 50's so we won't have an issue getting out...it's just making it through the mid-west territory. But hey they know how to do all that snowy weather stuff right?! Not like around here when all things grind to a halt at the first sign of a snow flake.

I don't know how much I will get to blog while I am away but I will try to give updates. I know we will be having way too much fun playing with our best friends, meeting new ones and just enjoying time together. I know we could all use a little together time.

I am feeling beyond blessed this Christmas season. So many ways that God has shown up in people I know and people I don't.

I pray that you feel His presence in some small way this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas... see you soon. ;o)

PRAISES!

Just have a minute to share.... but I am so excited with how God works!

Our mission team had a fundraiser at Moe's Restaurant tonight. The deal is that if you get 50 people to come in and say they are with your organization that you will then get 10 % of the profits for the night.

We had 146 people show up!

So that means that we not only get 10% of what they bought, we get 10% of everyone else's food for the night! We had the place packed for almost the whole 3 hours we were there.

YAY God! YAY Church! YAY Team!!

Great weekend!!

I think I need to slow down. I am working hard on not succumbing to this terrible cold, but I am not sure I am winning. I do feel a bit like the energizer bunny though...lol I just keep on going.

Friday night was our Sunday School Christmas party. That was a great time out with good friends. Lots of good food and even some fun trivia questions.

Saturday morning was spent indoors. It was nasty rainy and windy. D had to work for a couple of hours so the boys and I just hung out. We made a make shift tent and played in that for the morning.

D and I then tackled the mall for some Christmas shopping. We were on a mission and had a good list. Stopped at several places but I think we got almost all of it completed. Can I just say though that I do not think we have an issue with the economy here. ALL of the places we visited were mobbed! I mean swamped.

Saturday night we had a special Emmaus service. Love the December gathering with all of our friends. We even had SNOW! Only a slight dusting, but we never get snow around here so it was beautiful to us.

Today I was just feeling too badly in the morning to get to church. Sorry pastor. ;o( So E- man and I watched Home Alone and snuggled on the couch together.

I went this afternoon to get a 'touch up' on my hair before the holiday traveling. Honestly I think I am going to just stop going to the salon all together...lol I went for mere highlights. Came home with blonde hair and a bob hair cut. Shortest I have ever had it. Well...the shortest since I had one side shaved in high school, but that's a whole other story. ;o)

It's a very cute cut, just short!!!

Tonight was a fun kids Christmas party with some dear friends. They hire a Santa to come in. The boys were beside themselves with excitement. They both got very quiet and subdued though when it actually came time to sit on his lap. ;o) Great times.

So I am now off to sip my juice under my warm blanket and get some good sleep. Can't be sick for our big trip West!

Hope your weekend was Better Than Good!

Tent time. ;o)
Their reactions to seeing Santa walk into the room.... love it!
CUTE!
E-Man wants a watch. ;o)
I have a turtle-neck on, but you can kind of see the length of the hair... or lack there of. ;o)

Mission Team Dinner

Yet another reason to rejoice!

We are going on a mission trip! SO excited about that one!! Thursday night we got together with our families and celebrated Christmas and togetherness. It was so much fun. We have one crazy team...lol Lots of laughter, lots of conversation, lots of joy! The closer we get, the more excited.

We have a fundraiser on Tuesday night at a local restaurant. Then we our next one is in January. I did have a conversation with our associate pastor last night that some funds that were to be allotted to us may not be happening. This is a test in faith. I choose to believe that some of the attacks coming against the team both financially and otherwise are because we are going to do great things in His name. Or maybe WE aren't going to do great things but He is and we will be able to witness to it here at home. Either way I can't to see what it is! Please pray with us that we stay focused on His work and not on the financial aspect. It will come.

Here are some pics of us ;o)

Our team minus 2.
This is E, she is our powerhouse host for dinner. What a great lady! She's a mile a minute. Her house was amazing! There were 15 Christmas trees!!! It was almost too much for my boys to handle. SO much to see and touch...lol
R. He's so much fun! This is our 'manny' from the summer, and now he's coming along. The kids in ET are going to love him. He's a great jungle gym.
D and B. B has a great smile doesn't she?! D is an assistant principle and B is a teacher at a local private school. Lots of education on this team. I am looking forward to seeing what that will translate into on the team.
R and his son. R is a builder. Great spirit filled guy. He's such a great part of our team.
R and J. These guys are gonna be trouble. ;o) In a good way. Great sense of humor, great spirit of God.
Our host had glitter make up that the boys got to play in. I captured N in his. U can't really see it here. But he's so cute I had to share it. ;o)

Rejoicing!

:o) Nope not for the reason you think...lol No adoption news.

But I am still rejoicing.

Last night God reminded me through my devotion that I am to live in the moment. Enjoy what I have now. Rejoice in the many blessings I have in life right now!

I do rejoice in them. I am so very blessed with a most amazing husband, children, parents, in laws, friends, and church.

I have a roof over my head, running clean water, a job, a vehicle and food in my pantry.

Best of all I have a God who loves me and takes a minute out of his day to remind me that He's already blessed me in so many ways. Not in reprimand, but with a joyful remembering!

This morning I was reminded closer to home, the real need to enjoy the life I have now, in the death of a close family friend.

Life is short. Life can be hard. Life can be extremely painful. But we are asked to rejoice in it all.

So today I choose to rejoice in the children I have. I also choose to rejoice in the knowledge that if we are to have more children that He is going to make it happen. In HIS time.

What's going on in your life that I can rejoice over as well?

Something's missing...

It's the strangest feeling.

I look around sometimes thinking I must have forgotten something.

I get the boys in the van and think "Did I forget someone?"

Nope I haven't forgotten anything, and no one's been left behind. I think I am just missing a little person that isn't here yet.

It's such a strange feeling.

D is still not ready. S is way not ready. There are times when I think she's decided she's the boss of this family. She insists that we are not adopting again until she moves out. That's 3 yrs from now...not sure I will be sane if we wait that long...LOL

My prayers for God to soften their hearts haven't produced visible fruit yet. dern it!

So I will continue to pray.

E insists that he now wants a baby brother. He no longer likes girls. Girls are yucky. Where do they come up with this junk?!

D's mind is occupied with thoughts to remodeling the house. The job he's been doing involves alot of home updating and he's loving it. It's giving him all kinds of ideas though. He wants to expand our bedroom into a "master suite" and our tiny bathroom into something much larger. Not sure where the money for materials will come from but he's sure the guy to make it look grand! ;o)

My thoughts though are always "If you expand the bedroom where will we put another child?!" lol yup I have it bad.

I honestly could care less though about the look of our room or bathroom... we don't spend much time up there. I would much rather be travelling to pick up our new child/children. ;o)

I don't know maybe it's the holiday. Maybe it's reading about this family who lost their precious 12 yr old son this week. Maybe it's just my biological clock ticking too loudly in my head. Perhaps it's God molding my heart. (if so I sure wish he would mold D's!!!)

I pray that He will show me what's missing, perhaps I just need a little more of Him?

Points

oiy!

So the whole Christmas melt down has begun at our house...lol

The boys are both feeling it.

We have decided to implement a point system.

For every time the boys talk back (which is every other sentence), argue, or are counted to 3 for something, they get a point added to their name.

If they get to 10 points in a day they lose 1 present from Christmas.

I do try to remind them that perhaps they would like to stop arguing because they don't want a point, but that doesn't always work.

We were doing ok until today. I think N was bottling so much of his arguing that it fell out at school today and he came home on red. Poor guy.

I pray this helps them to regulate their mouths some.

The weekend that was...

I should have entitled that "The weekend that was CRAZY!"...lol

We were so busy this weekend, it should have been illegal. We had good times though. ;o)

Saturday we got up and did a bit of cleaning then headed out to our 'local' Ethiopian restaurant. I say 'local' because it's about 45 mins away. The boys had been begging and I thought it would be fun if we could get some of our mission team along. Only 2 were able to come but they brought their families so we had about 20 people. The menu had been expanded so we had a bit more choice. Oh my goodness! YUMMO. The boys were in heaven. I swear E ate half his weight in food!

Then we had to get back to get N ready for his first choir performance of the weekend. He's so stinking cute! I can't even stand it! He is such a joy to watch up there on the stage. He dances and makes up his own cool moves. We got so many comments about how fun he is to watch. He had a second performance on Sunday night and was even more animated. I SO wish I had a video camera. I think we are going to have to invest in one! E was sitting next to me on Sunday night and he kept saying "What my brudder doing? That guy funny."

Sunday we had church. Great sermon! I love our pastors they are truly a gift to us.

After church we had family lunch with our couples group. That's always fun. ;o) Then back to church for the other service. My dad was even able to come out at watch. He was instructed to by mom who had to be out of town....lol

I am exhausted but in a good way. Lots of good church and good fellowship, I love times like that. This coming weekend beginning Wednesday is going to be nuts. Christmas parties and get togethers and friends and family. All the way through to Sunday night. It will sure make the time go by quickly though as we are counting the days to our big Christmas trip! YAY! Wyoming here we come!

Pics that didn't make it....and other stuff

So this week has been crazy at work. I love the new position. It's challenging and not really as glamourous as the title sounds yet but it's sure made the week fly by. No kidding yesterday it was 11:30 before I knew it!

Chris and Anna are doing well. They are in a motel. It's not great but they are off the streets and not cold so that's a great step forward! Anna's not terribly motivated. She sweet but happy to be a "slug-a-bed" as she called it. Chris is so ready to move forward he's been great. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers there. They still need it, it's such a complicated story on many levels. God's got some good stuff brewing.

I have to tell on my self a bit though... God is always showing me how much more humble I need to be. So sad how often that has to happen really. Anyway, Sunday D had asked me to ask our Sunday school class if they would be willing to help pay for the hotel for the rest of the month. I wasn't sure I would ask in the middle of the class because we have a member who I was afraid would make some waves. I told D I would ask them later so as not to ask in front of this member. During class God nudged me to ask so I decided to obey. At the end of class we all had a chance to pray individually and this person not only prayed for Chris and Anna, she asked for help for them... it was a beautiful prayer that had me in tears. Talk about humble pie. In this case it was good stuff.

This weekend we are going to eat at the sort of local Ethiopian restaurant for lunch. Some of our mission team is coming along to taste the food to see what they are in for...lol Can't wait to eat it!

N is in 2 Children's Choir programs and we are having lunch with friends on Sunday. Oiy! Not much happening...lol

And now for the pics that will not be in the Christmas cards this year. ;o) Just for your enjoyment.

Have a Better than Good weekend!

3 Years!

3 Years ago this week we met our N!

Can you believe 3 years have gone by?!

I can't.

It's to hard to put into words how life has changed for us all since he came to us.

I remember seeing his little face for the first time on my computer. He tiny little head shot was the first one I opened. I wondered what was going through his little head at that moment? Then I opened the next picture, saw the little wet patch and had a chuckle. Poor little guy, on top of everything he had had to endure they were taking pictures of him in wet pants. The indignity!

Then the day we arrived in Ethiopia. D and I both cried when our plane landed, we had fought so hard to get to this point. We were finally there!

Then his beautiful little dimpled smile looking at us as we drove into the compound. I had scanned all the little faces as they looked back at us from behind the sliding glass door. I saw him in a instant and my first words were "He has dimples! BONUS!" ;o) You can't tell me you don't just die when you see those amazing dimples! ;o)

We got into the room and that was the end of the joy...lol He wanted nothing to do with us. Understandably so. He was so smart even at the age of 2 yrs. Poor little man, we were about to rock his world.

One of my favorite memories of our time was a night that D and I had walked down to the orphanage on our own to visit him. (they wanted us to keep the kids at the orphanage until the Embassy appointment to help with transition). We got there, a nanny went to get him, and he cautiously came to sit with us. We just sat on the floor with him in my lap and talked...or 'communicated' I guess is the better word. ;o) The lights went out while we were there so we got out our cell phones and looked at all the pictures. We would name the people and he would name them back to us. It was precious.

Then the other kids came in the room. We were sitting nicely looking at pictures when all of a sudden N got up from my lap, stomped over to the other kids, scolded 1 or 2 of them ...wagging a finger...then huffed back to me, sat down and continued looking at the pics. ;o) No clue what they said, or what he said. But it sure gave us a window into his personality. He's still bossy. ;o)

It's not all been a cake walk. In fact this last year has been more of a tight rope walk...but he's my precious son. My sweet, bossy, crazy, creative, insane, fearless, courageous, back talking, chatterbug, dancing king, song bird, son.

I love that little man so very much. I can't believe God blessed me with this sweet boy.

My heart hurts for the family that doesn't get to witness his greatness every day. See that smile that is on his face every single morning when he comes running saying "Good morning mommy! I love you!" He misses them. I am so glad I have a way to tell them now that he does miss them, as much as they miss him. ;o( Oh how that hurts...

Adoption has changed our lives in so many ways. All of them good, but not all of them painless. We have this new family, across the world. We have a branch grafted to our family tree that adds such an amazing dimension.

I can't wait to see what amazing fruit we will get to see born.

Happy 3 years home my sweet precious N!

Christmas Cards

I just had to share one of the many reasons I LOVE the adoption community!!

Christmas cards!!!

We have received Christmas cards from some of my favorite people...(mine are coming I promise!)

It's such a joy to look at the pics included and see the diversity, the joy, the health... what a gift!!!

I love to look at my Christmas card wall and see such beauty!!

It's what Christ and Christmas is all about.
Thank you Lord!

Tough questions...

Man, so tonight at dinner it was just me and the boys for a little while. (D was taking S somewhere)

Conversation started with the boys discussing the merits of marriage.

Well Nahom has decided he wants a wife, just like mommy. (awe sweet boy!)

E has decided that he doesn't like 'gurls', that they are gross!

We talked about being married and then having children.

Being married and having children led to some pretty tough questions... ie:

Where are my Oopia mom and dad?

Where was I born?

Why am I adopted?

Did I grow in your belly?

Did S and Z grow in your belly?

Why didn't we grow in your belly?

Did you carry me when I was a baby?

Did my Oopia mommy carry me?

Did I walk when I was a baby?

Why can't I see my Oopia mom and dad?

When am I going back?

What did my house look like?

Where are my friends?

I wish I could see my friends........... etc etc etc

They are old enough to know just enough to ask the questions and not old enough to really understand the answers.

Their stories are so very different. E remembers some because he was older when we got him and it was more recent.

N remembers nothing other than what he saw on the DVD we were given, and what we have told him. He made up some stories about his mom, that can't even remotely be true... so trying to give him reality in 5 yr old terms was a tough one.

I was so sad to have to say I didn't know the answers to some of the questions. Like what were they like when they were babies? E LOVES babies, he loves to care for them and he is so good with them. Thus the desire for a baby sister I think. ;o)

E asked for a picture of him as a 'tiny baby'. I had to tell him we don't have any. He told me to just "go in the 'pooter' (computer)" I had to try to explain that it didn't really work that way.

Geez these questions and answers are hard for my adult head to wrap around... I know it's tough for them.

I answered as best I could, and they seemed to be ok with it. I am not sure how they will take that I am going to Ethiopia without them next year. I do hope to connect with some of E's birth family while there, so I pray that I can get some answers for him to some of these questions.

Having some contact with N's family I hope will give me the opportunity to give him some more answers as well.

At times I am just overwhelmed at all that they have lost... even as I rejoice in all that we have gained.

Give Me Your Eyes

Yesterday we heard the song "Give me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath at least twice. I think it makes for a pretty interesting and appropriate Christmas song.

We heard it once while in the van on KLove and then again later on our TV music Channel.

The first time N said "This is my favorite song".

This is news to me because I didn't think he knew it. ;o) Then it came on as dinner was ending so N got up and choreographed some slick moves to it. He's got talent!

As I sat at the table watching him I began to think about all that the song entails.

It's a song about having your eyes opened to the things God would have us see. I have prayed that prayer myself. It sure comes with a high price. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. I just mean that once your eyes are truly opened you begin to see life so differently.

What I love though is that God opens our eyes to the things that He knows we will respond to. It's why there are so many organizations and charities out there. It allows for us to find our own passions and live those passions, and make a difference.

There are people passionate about animals, plants, trees, clean air, HIV/AIDS, abortion, adoption, homelessness, clean water.... the earth in general.

All God asks is that we open our eyes to see the world around us.

We had our eyes opened to the Ethiopian people... then showed us that we have people right here in our back yard that also need love and care. He's shown us that the world is so very vast...yet so very small.

This Christmas as we get all caught up in all things Christmas... let's open our eyes to the one that loved us so much that He gave His only Son to us. What a gift. What a joy.

What an eye opener... how has He opened your eyes?

Faithful Friday...

Haven't done a Faithful Friday in a while so here goes.

Update in Chris and Anna. First I want to thank you all for your input. I appreciate your advice and for sharing your experiences with me. I was truly struggling with my feelings and then the guilt. ya know?

One of the things that occurred to me about the hotel room for them was that perhaps that in and of itself was a gift to them. They had 45.00 to their names and were willing to spend it on a room. What occurred to me was that maybe they just wanted some alone time as a couple. I can't imagine trying to live a married life without a home. No room, no privacy, no alone time...nothing. ugh what a thought... not even really imaginable to me. One of the other couples at church had invited them home that night but they just wanted some time alone. I can so respect that.

Chris has been working with D all week. D picks him up and takes him back to the church every day. D is helping them get an efficiency hotel room for the remainder of the winter, or until they can get back on their feet enough to get an apt through a local out reach program. I think we are going to help them with the deposit and first week or so of rent. Then work with them to have them pay the deposit back. As an act of good faith. Even if at a rate of 5.00 a week it gives them ownership.

D has been able to learn alot more about them in the last couple of days, and his heart is even more open to getting them help to get back on their feet. I support him 100%.

We are inviting them to our Sunday School class this Sunday so that some of the other people in the church can get to know them as well.

One of the things I love so much about D is his heart. It's so huge! The thing that gives me pause sometimes is that he is a do-er... he jumps in and does... then thinks about it later. This is where we compliment each other because I am the planner and the thinker.

I need his balance of just doing things sometimes. ;o)

I have been joking with D that if he gets to adopt 2 adults then I get a baby. ;o) He doesn't actually find it amusing.

Although he keeps telling people that I am ready for a baby... kind of his way I think to get himself and others geared up for a new addition. PRAY with me! ;o) I think he's breaking......lol

Last night he even asked me to go with him to visit his co-workers wife and brand new baby boy at the hospital. He called it my 'baby fix'. I told him that while I love holding babies, that it doesn't really help his cause, because it just makes me want one even more. ;o)

So I got to hold a 6hour old baby boy last night. Oh the bliss!!! He was precious! So tiny.

N has had a rough week again. I think he is still having a hard time with the Christmas bustle and all that we have been running around doing. We are really trying to scale back...but man it's tough.

Last night was E's Christmas play. E was a wise man as you can tell from the previous pics. He wouldn't go up to the front without me. Poor little guy... then when he got up there it's a good thing he didn't have to speak...lol I would have had to hold him while he did. Which would have been fine, but I am not nearly as cute as he is.

N ended up on overload afterwards and we had to sit in the van to calm our over the top tantrum. Poor guy was just so over not being the center of attention. Praying today is a better day for him.

This weekend we are going to church for the Angel Breakfast on Saturday morning.

We may even have SNOW! We rarely get snow here.

I think D is also going to try to put lights outside on the house this weekend. N has been begging for them...because "it makes the house look beautiful!" ;o) Sweet boy.

S will be gone for the weekend at a youth retreat. ;o( I will miss her. I know she will have a blast though.

OH! And good news on the Mission Team front. We are only about $6500.00 from having it fully funded! That's only like 650.00 or so per person more that we need... how GRAND is that?! And we still have 4 months left. Praising God for his goodness and grace!

Well that's life as it stands right now.

I pray you all have a Better than Good weekend!

Life in pictures

Just so you don't think my life is all angst and inner turmoil...lol... here's some fun that actually does happen around here. ;o)

Decorating the tree



S always gets to put the angel on the tree
At church decorating the Advent Wreath for home. That was actually alot of fun. I may have a new career. ;o)
Boys being silly. ;o)
N enjoying E's Christmas show tonight.... he was having a blast.

Performing does not seem to be in E's future, but he was one stinkin cute Wise Man! I had so sit on stage with him then walk him up to his place and sit stage left. ;o) It was cute.
See the little girl in Pink? She's smiling at me... she was a very cute little Mary.
Our little wise guy.

Hypocrite?

So I find myself in a tough spot....

I can't believe I am going to put this out there... but I put pretty much everything else on here...why not this?

So I think I have figured out why D isn't willing to adopt a baby yet.... He's adopted 2 adults!

I have spoken before about the homeless population at our church and in the surrounding area. It's always been interesting to me that in a resort town there are so many people without a place to live.....but I digress.

Anyway there is this 'young couple', I say they are young but I really have no clue how old they are. Their names are Chris and Anna. They have been attending the church for a couple of months and live on the front porch most nights.

This couple has taken D's heart.

He started working Chris with him at his new job. It's just occurred to me that maybe this is why he is still at the same place....No large company would have been as open to this idea.

Anna is still looking for a job, but it's hard to do when you are homeless.

It's a terrible cycle isn't it?

Tonight it's a yucky cold and rainy night. D's heart was breaking thinking of them sleeping outside. So he asked me if we can pay for a room in a hotel for them for the night. I readily agreed.

So here's my issue. I am not comfortable inviting them to my home.

Why not?

Why can't I open the one room that's empty and allow them in?

Well, the rational side of me says "Because you know nothing about them! You have children and stuff in your home. Do you really want to open your home to that?!"

So then I think Christ didn't put qualifiers on his statement about clothing and feeding his sheep... he said DO IT.

I am in tears just writing this....

I am willing to raise money to fly across the world to work with children and widows half way across the world but I am scared to death to open my home to people in my own back yard.

Why is that so hard for me?

The plain truth is that I am afraid. I don't know why they are homeless, I don't know if they have a drug or alcohol problem, this couple has children... but not with them...why?

Is any of that my business?

Could this just be a couple that has run into a mess and because of the way of the world is caught in the terrible cycle of 'Don't have a home so can't get a job, Can't get a job so doesn't have a home?'

It could be us out there......

So here I sit, warm and dry in my home without them here......

World AIDS Day 2009

This year I am a little more contemplative about this day.

I know more than I did last year. And it's not all good.

The good stuff is that my E is healthy. His numbers are all excellent and he's been undetectable for most of the year.

I have learned alot more about the disease, how it's spread... how it's not. I have learned that it's not something I ever dwell on, but it's never far from my mind.

Call me naive but I am never afraid that I will contract it. I am probably more lax in any care that I give him, but he's pretty injury free for a 4 yr old and even when there are issues, it's not the first thing on my mind.

What I have found though is that while I am never secretive about it with others, I am more cautious about which of his friends know. Does this make me a bad parent...neighbor? I don't think so. I think it makes me a better parent for E.

I am willing to stand up for him in any way shape or form, but I am more cautious about who I need to stand up to. Why start battles for him?

In alot of ways this makes me sad.

Did you even know that any one with HIV living out side the country was not allowed into our country... still aren't until Jan 4, 2010. It's why you hear the word 'waiver' in HIV adoption circles. We had to fill out a form pay more than 500.00 for it and prove that we had insurance and were able to care for him once he was here.

Since 1987 people with HIV have not been able to visit this country. Is that unbelievable to you?! It is to me. Until we were researching E's adoption I had no idea that such a law existed. I guess in some ways I do understand the mind set in 1987 there was so little information about the illness and it's transmission. People were afraid... but it's now 23 yrs later and it's just now being repealed!

23 YEARS!

I was talking to a couple the other day about our Ethiopia mission trip and HIV and the Project HOPEFUL village being started and some of the things this couple said to me just made me so sad. They really just had not clue. They were still believed the stigma.

The interesting thing is that their little boy was running around the room with E the whole time.

I read today that the next World AIDS Conference which is to be held in 2012 will be in Washington DC, the first time ever that it will be held in the US.

I also read that more than 25,000 people are expected to attend. It's a pretty big deal.

What I wondered is...if 25000 people attend this conference will there really be any change?

There are still so many new cases of the disease right here in the U.S. each year. Doesn't that make you sad?

What makes me even more sad though is all those families torn apart in other parts of the world because of this completely preventable disease.

I am however thrilled with the strides that have been made in just this past year.

The steps taken to come closer to a vaccine.

The new discoveries in medications.

The lift on the travel ban.

The fact that this president isn't afraid to talk about it and make some things happen.

That children are finding homes and no longer being cared for in a hospice setting.

But it's taken 23 yrs to get here.

Come on people.

Stand up.

If we stand together we can make a real difference.

You can start today here are some ways:

1. Sponsor an HIV+ child at AHOPE

2. Be a Megaphone with 1000 Voices

3. Give 5 for 5 with HIV to Home

At the very least tell one person in the next week something truthful about HIV/AIDS. End the stigma with one person.

At the very most...pray. Pray for those living with the illness, those living with infected persons, and those who have lost a loved one.

Holes...

This is why I love blog world!

Most of the people that read my blog are from the adoption world, at least those that comment.... ;o) And you get it! ;o)

And if you don't get it at least you will pray for me, or you keep it to yourself... love ya for that too! ;o)

This whole wanting a girl thing can only be from God.

Don't get me wrong, I love little girls, I love my S... but I have a soft spot for little boys. I love my guys. Girls have so much drama and estrogen. Honestly I have enough of that on my own. ;o)

So this whole longing for a little girl has got to be from Him.

Back when we were moving forward with E's adoption we were given the opportunity to possibly adopt an infant set of twins, domestically. I agonized over the decision for several days until God very clearly said to me.... "there is a little boy out there waiting for you". I just knew in my heart that these babies would be taken care of, but that there was a little boy out there that needed me. It was my E.

I feel the same way this time. There is a little girl out there some where.....

We were at a restaurant for my parent's anniversary on Sunday night and a couple came in with 2 little girls. They were of Asian descent. The littlest one was maybe 2 yrs old, and just the most beautiful little girl. She sat across the room observing us the whole time. My heart ached for a little girl just like her.

So... perhaps someday my heart will be filled. D's not ready.

Maybe if E would tell daddy every day (like he tells me) that he wants a baby sister, I might see that day sooner rather than later. ;o)

I do have a mission team to complete. That calling has not changed, and I am more excited than ever to go!

I know God knows my heart just like He knows each of you dreaming and praying for your own little person sized hole's to be filled.

Thank you for your prayers, your assurance of my sanity, and support. ;o) My prayers are with each of you as well.

Can't wait to see where God leads us. I just know it will be better than good!

Crazy?

So I haven't really kept it a secret. I am ready for another baby... child...another addition period.

So why is it that I am the only one ready?

D and I were at dinner on Friday night with our couples group. D said something about my Big Ben bio clock...lol And the other 2 couples looked at me like I had 8 eyes.

One couple has 2 teens and are literally counting the days until they move out. The other couple is just happy with the 3 kids they have.

To be honest, the reaction was painful.

Why is it crazy to want to love another child?

Nope we do not have 20 - 30k laying around to adopt another one.

Nope N didn't transition well with E. But we have gotten over that hump and he would LOVE a sister. He needs a girl to play house with. ;o)

Nope we don't have the money to send S to college laying around but that's what they make student loans for isn't it?

None of my children are lacking. For anything. Love, food, shelter, education, goodness knows they have too much 'stuff'.

Why is it crazy to want another child to love? To give another child a home that doesn't have one?

Having more children isn't for every one. Adoption isn't for every one. Having children period isn't for every one.

My arms ache for another child. My heart hurts for the one I feel is missing.

So...call me crazy.

I guess I am.

p.s. if anyone has an extra 20k laying around... I could use it... so could a little girl somewhere, I know it! ;o)

Just pics from Turkey day

Of course they are backwards again...some day I will remember to upload them the right way.

My boys.

My brother and sweet M

So handsome...

Me and my oldest ;o) ugh... the hair may be 'fixed' but I still am not fond of it!


Prep tome ;o)
My and our friend J trying to look cool while running ;o)
Not sure what D's doing?
Sweet sleepy boy.....