It's the strangest feeling.
I look around sometimes thinking I must have forgotten something.
I get the boys in the van and think "Did I forget someone?"
Nope I haven't forgotten anything, and no one's been left behind. I think I am just missing a little person that isn't here yet.
It's such a strange feeling.
D is still not ready. S is way not ready. There are times when I think she's decided she's the boss of this family. She insists that we are not adopting again until she moves out. That's 3 yrs from now...not sure I will be sane if we wait that long...LOL
My prayers for God to soften their hearts haven't produced visible fruit yet. dern it!
So I will continue to pray.
E insists that he now wants a baby brother. He no longer likes girls. Girls are yucky. Where do they come up with this junk?!
D's mind is occupied with thoughts to remodeling the house. The job he's been doing involves alot of home updating and he's loving it. It's giving him all kinds of ideas though. He wants to expand our bedroom into a "master suite" and our tiny bathroom into something much larger. Not sure where the money for materials will come from but he's sure the guy to make it look grand! ;o)
My thoughts though are always "If you expand the bedroom where will we put another child?!" lol yup I have it bad.
I honestly could care less though about the look of our room or bathroom... we don't spend much time up there. I would much rather be travelling to pick up our new child/children. ;o)
I don't know maybe it's the holiday. Maybe it's reading about this family who lost their precious 12 yr old son this week. Maybe it's just my biological clock ticking too loudly in my head. Perhaps it's God molding my heart. (if so I sure wish he would mold D's!!!)
I pray that He will show me what's missing, perhaps I just need a little more of Him?