Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hypocrite?

So I find myself in a tough spot....

I can't believe I am going to put this out there... but I put pretty much everything else on here...why not this?

So I think I have figured out why D isn't willing to adopt a baby yet.... He's adopted 2 adults!

I have spoken before about the homeless population at our church and in the surrounding area. It's always been interesting to me that in a resort town there are so many people without a place to live.....but I digress.

Anyway there is this 'young couple', I say they are young but I really have no clue how old they are. Their names are Chris and Anna. They have been attending the church for a couple of months and live on the front porch most nights.

This couple has taken D's heart.

He started working Chris with him at his new job. It's just occurred to me that maybe this is why he is still at the same place....No large company would have been as open to this idea.

Anna is still looking for a job, but it's hard to do when you are homeless.

It's a terrible cycle isn't it?

Tonight it's a yucky cold and rainy night. D's heart was breaking thinking of them sleeping outside. So he asked me if we can pay for a room in a hotel for them for the night. I readily agreed.

So here's my issue. I am not comfortable inviting them to my home.

Why not?

Why can't I open the one room that's empty and allow them in?

Well, the rational side of me says "Because you know nothing about them! You have children and stuff in your home. Do you really want to open your home to that?!"

So then I think Christ didn't put qualifiers on his statement about clothing and feeding his sheep... he said DO IT.

I am in tears just writing this....

I am willing to raise money to fly across the world to work with children and widows half way across the world but I am scared to death to open my home to people in my own back yard.

Why is that so hard for me?

The plain truth is that I am afraid. I don't know why they are homeless, I don't know if they have a drug or alcohol problem, this couple has children... but not with them...why?

Is any of that my business?

Could this just be a couple that has run into a mess and because of the way of the world is caught in the terrible cycle of 'Don't have a home so can't get a job, Can't get a job so doesn't have a home?'

It could be us out there......

So here I sit, warm and dry in my home without them here......

9 comments:

Andrea H. said...

This must have been so hard for you especially after you started thinking about it. I am exactly the same way. Kevin has a huge heart for the homeless. He wants to invite them for dinner I say "I'll cook them something and you can take it to them. I too have even paid for a motel before. I have worried about their sicknesses and diseases they would bring in my house. Yet my two little ones had lice, fungus, you name it, they were very sickly. Every day when I go to our courthouse, there are many homeless people and I give them food but I never invite them in. I am afraid and I don't know why. Because if I were to live in ET or one of the countries I have visited I would probably let them in. I hope God will convict me too and speak to me. Thanks so much for this post.

Amanda said...

The only thing I can say is that you can get to know them either through D or yourself so you can get comfortable. You'll figure out a way. But unfortunately these times you never know and your first instinct to protect your children so you're okay with thinking this way. Just get to know them and then maybe, you'll be able to invite time. Just as adopting the boys was a process for you, this will be a process. Just don't forget you're doing what you can at the time being and you're doing your best. You'll feel your hear open up when it's ready. Love you!

Audrey said...

I love your sweet heart, Andrea. I completely understand your fears and your desire to be Christ-like to this couple. I don't know what the answer is but I know that God will lead you.

I need to do some praying about this myself. It's great that we are able to travel halfway around the world to bring our children home to safety, but that doesn't release us from meeting the needs that surround us everyday, does it?

Adeye said...

Whew, that really is a tough one, friend. My advice? Well, seek the heart of God on this. Ask Him what your role is. I bet He'll show you. There are times when we DO need to use wisdom with these things. Like you said, you have no idea what their background is. And then there are times when you have absolute peace in your heart to DO MORE. You have to be led by the Spirit though. And, you have to be in unity with your hubby is one what your role as a family is. We have taken in people over the years. Some for short periods of time, others for longer. It has always been a case of God showing us what to do in each particular situation. Get to know them--that's the place to start. Once you do that and get a 'feel'
for their situation, you'll know where to go from there.

He'll lead and guide you. Your heart is so soft and so open before the Father.

Cat and Mark said...

I don't have much to add. Other than to say that probably upwards of 90% of the population wouldn't even have the internal debate you are having with yourself. You aren't a bad person - just work through it and pray for the answer.

Thanks so much for sharing - that must have been difficult.

Tarah said...

This is a struggle for me too. I think that I have found that if God wants you to do something, He makes it happen. Our 19 yr old was about to be homeless, without family, and who knows what great fungus/disease, lying, stealing she might have. We were hit over the head that He called us to bring her in, wrap our arms around her, and to simply love her. Does this mean we were totally normal about her interactions with the kids? NO. She was not alone with any of them in a room until we saw her heart and built trust. She has lived through horrible things, and I can only imagine what is still lurking waiting to surface. We take each day with prayer. IT IS HARD. It is not easy. We find that we have to balance kindness, and encouragement for her growth. We have to let her fail at things ( cell phone turned off) so she learns how to be self supporting.
You are right, it is way easier to go across the world and wrap your arms around someone than to do it here. Wonder why? Because we choose to be there and can leave? Because we don't have to deal with manipulation 3 months later? ;)
I will be praying that Abba gives you a RED flashing light about directions.
Sometimes people need to have the directions given, but need to find their own way. Only when they are way down in the pit might they be willing to cry out to HIM.

Our journey following Christ said...

I understand completely.

We took in a friend of Blake (our son) from college last year. He's from Ghana and came here to attend school but had no concrete place to live and absolutely no money. Blake got to know him, found out he was a wonderful Christian guy and they built a friendship.

He only lived with us 3 months and only left because of the fire. (Too much stress at that point) It went well, for the most part but there were personality issues and also some small conflicts about what is fair in regards to him helping out around the house.

We were humbled to have been able to serve him, house him, feed him, clothe him. He still thinks of us as his American family. We truly love him. Overall, it was a great experience!

But, there was a trust relationship built before we welcomed him into our home. There were also boundaries, i.e. his bedroom was 2 whole levels away from our teenage daughters room.

I know that the Lord would want you to endanger your children. I also advise you to pray about it and seek the Lord's will on this. It could be the most wonderful experience and blessing or a nightmare...only He knows. Seek Him.

We never worried about him stealing from us. If that happened, we'd have addressed it and probably asked him to leave. Our stuff is just stuff anyway and can be replaced. You would have to lay some ground rules and expectations right off the bat and make them clearly understood. Also, make it clear that it isn't a "forever" kind of situation.

How wonderful that your husband and you have the heart of Christ.

I'll pray.

Blessings,
Laura

Amy Jo said...

Hey Friend,

So funny that I would read this post tonight. I just got home from seeing "The Blind Side." After inviting the homeless boy into her house, she laid awake in bed and worried about her decision and whether she could trust him. I so understand your concerns, esp. with young children in your home. God will give you peace regarding whatever decision you make...He won't stear you wrong, just seek His peace and you'll find His will.

I know He is so honored by your desire to serve and please Him - look at how beautifully you are living your life on His behalf!!! You are such a blessing to your family and those in your life.

Thank you for praying for our family - and know that I am praying for yours (and the desire God has put on your heart for another precious daughter.)

Sweetest blessings,
Amy

Amy Jo said...

Hey Friend,

So funny that I would read this post tonight. I just got home from seeing "The Blind Side." After inviting the homeless boy into her house, she laid awake in bed and worried about her decision and whether she could trust him. I so understand your concerns, esp. with young children in your home. God will give you peace regarding whatever decision you make...He won't stear you wrong, just seek His peace and you'll find His will.

I know He is so honored by your desire to serve and please Him - look at how beautifully you are living your life on His behalf!!! You are such a blessing to your family and those in your life.

Thank you for praying for our family - and know that I am praying for yours (and the desire God has put on your heart for another precious daughter.)

Sweetest blessings,
Amy