The last several weeks have been like a roller coaster of the really cool and the really uncool.
We had Christmas which was really cool!
Then 14 inches of snow…and in my book that’s really cool too!
Then my oldest turned 21 yrs old and had a beer in front of his momma. YIKES
Then my sweet hubby and I renewed our vows after almost 18 yrs together, on New Years Eve. What an amazing way to begin the new year….this was the coolest!
But in the midst of it the person from the church that has been such a source of stress for myself and others added more stress. He’s the Chair of a committee we were to become co-chairs on this year. On New Years day after yet another bout of drama and sadness he resigned…very un-cool. I am now Chair all by myself.
The whole situation has taken it’s toll on me. I tend to get along with people, I like people…I think they like me? Not every one does…lol and that’s ok too, but we can generally find ways to get along with each other. I am a ‘gumby’ kind of person, it doesn’t have to be a big deal if we don’t make it that way…and man can I just tell you I do not like drama?! So I have not really known what to do with this whole ordeal… I don’t know how to deal with people that say they are working for God yet their actions and words say something totally different. I began to feel that some how there was something wrong with my view points… the fact that I just could NOT like this guy seemed like some character flaw of mine. Now I do realize that the not liking thing is my deal…lol although God says we gotta love our neighbor, but he doesn’t say we gotta like them, right? (ok not getting into semantics here…just makin a point) As it turns out I am not the only person that can not play nice with this person.
So… what does this have to do with a big God?
It has to do with the inner struggle I have had over this situation… I do not like, not liking people. I want to be the light that God has called me to, I want to be the person that plays well with every one, I want to be able to be co-chair with this dude and get along. Why can’t I?
My prayer has been “Help” simply “Help”… God knows what I need…God knows what he needs…God knows what our church needs….I can’t seem to figure it out.
On top of all the committee angst we are not coming up with the money we need for our Home Study. We need only 850.00. A simple 8 hundred and fifty dollars. The dilemma is that we are also still working on the fundraising for our mission trip with our local peeps so putting the added funding of an adoption out there might freak a few of them out…lol (plus we haven’t told family yet…since oddly none of them care to read this blog I can only talk about it here)
So… we are going to do a raffle! I don’t have an iPad or anything..but I have some fun things that I think you will like. Stay Tuned! It will be coming in a couple of days.
So how big is my God?
Bigger than the mess happening at church…or the fall out that continues.
Bigger than me and my own failings.
Bigger than dude and his.
Bigger than 850.00 measly bucks! or the rest of the 15k we will need :)