Saturday, June 26, 2010

His ways are bigger..

His way are just bigger than my ways. He even says so.

I trust God with all my heart...there are just days when I have to ask Him, 'Why'.

I know there is a reason I was able to hold and love on Baby M. She was precious. Perfect. Beautiful.

I whispered in her ears that God loved her. That HE thought she was perfect and beautiful and amazing. He knew her name and had plans for her. I told her that she was wanted and loved. I told her that no matter what God would never leave her or abandon her.

When the nannies looked at me funny...knowing she may be hiv+... I held her closer and loved on her stronger. I wanted them to know it was ok. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't concerned about 'catching it'.

There is a family out there for her....it breaks my heart that it's not us. Truly it does.

YWAM is letting me be her prayer partner. Officially...since I haven't ever stopped praying for her since the day I left her. :)

Some day she will be with a family that will cherish her and love her and tell her that God loves her too. I can't wait to hear about them.

His ways are always bigger...and better than mine.... always....

On a way happy note my E turned 5 yrs old yesterday. Can you believe he's already 5 yrs old?! I can't!

His party is today. I will post pics later. Be prepared for too much cuteness....



2 comments:

Christie said...

I can't imagine the pain behind those words...knowing that a child you held in your very arms needs a home, and you can't be the one's to give it to her...praying for you.

And, Happy Birthday E! Hoping it's a day full of fun!

Christie

Andrea H. said...

Oh Bless you for holding her closer when they told you she was HIV. What a stigma is still behind HIV. So much education needs to be done. You know what I am thinking so I started praying for you and that little one.