Monday, May 31, 2010

Change of plans....

I almost hate to write this, because it actually has a really awesome opportunity for blessing, but it still makes me sad. I hope you will forgive my brief moment of sadness as I seemingly let go of one dream to grasp another.

While I was in Ethiopia it sort of felt like God was telling me that another adoption wasn't in His plan for us. I completely shut my ears and tried really hard not to hear him. I loved on those babies and children with all that I had. I prayed over them and spoke His love into those tiny little hearts. Praying that some day I would be able to do the same with my next child, praying that there was someone to pray that into her little heart when I could not.

But since I have been home it seems as though He is steering us in a different direction. D is still adamant that another adoption right now is not in the cards. There has been no burning bush for him.

The bush he has seen burning is going to Ethiopia to do mission work.

Seems as though it's the same burning bush I have been trying to avoid, putting my sunglasses on and trying not to see.

We have another at least 10 people that want to go to ET with us next time, next year. We have relationships built and more opportunities this time.

I am mourning my dream, that I felt sure was from God, and looking towards this new adventure.

I am excited to see what He does and where He takes us.

I mourn what feels like the loss of a child, while I look forward to what I know will be full of His blessing and grace.

3 comments:

SupermomE11 said...

Big hugs! I am sorry... it is so hard to let go of a dream, especially one you want so dearly.

But, take comfort in the fact that God's plan is ALWAYS perfect for us, and that if it is what He wants for you, it will be amazing! I can't wait to see what He has planned for you and D.
Love you!
E

James 1:27 Family said...

You all are so amazing!

Hang in there and rest in the security of God's sovereign plans and unending love for you. You never know. God could change D's heart next week, next month, next year. Your obedience to God and to your husband is right. That is so wonderful that both you and D share the heart for missions in Ethiopia. What a great life!

I'm praying for your heart and for God to reveal His big plans for your family. I can't wait to see the next adventure!

Love in Jesus,
Amy

Our journey following Christ said...

Let me first say that I am so sorry. I know how much you long to have another child.

But God's ways are higher than our ways and His plans for us were formed for our lives long before we even entered the picture. God knows your heart and your desires. He will give you far more than what your heart can dream of. It might be a different dream than your original one but it will be an even greater one for His kingdom!

I love your openness to be used and even have your plans changed. May the Lord bless you as you continue to live in His perfect will for the life of your family.

Blessings and love,
Laura