Mini Me

ugh... this was one of those weekend's that I will be glad to move forward from.

For N it was opposite's weekend.

Whatever he was told to do he didn't, and whatever he was told not to do he did.

To say that by Sunday night I was more than ready to send him to bed would be an understatement. I even went for a run at 9pm just to work off some of the frustration. ;o)

D and I had a long talk on Sunday night about what our plan would be to move forward in his care. What we can do differently. It was a good talk. We are on the same page, we just need to get more consistent with our discipline.

N wasn't verbally defiant, just chose to do opposite, repeatedly of what we said.

This morning on the way to work I felt God speak into me... "He's just like you."

oh ouch! Really?! Ouch!

I had just been saying that I was so like Paul in his actions and here I was getting upset with my son for being ...me.

It's not to say that he should be allowed to get away with those things, but I think it helps me to see why it frustrates me soooooo much. It's because I see me in him, and because I am not so happy with me... it get's reflected right back on him.

Last night we went to Z's church, and this morning I know why. The pastor spoke of our worth. Being co-heirs with Christ. I am a child of God, THE God, and co-heir to the kingdom with God! So is N!

He spoke of sin being a struggle. He said "You don't struggle with temptation you struggle with identity."
He also said "It's not a behavioral issue, it's a value issue" It's not living like you are a child of God. It's not claiming your worth as a member of His kingdom.

It's me not accepting His place in life...and it's N doing the same.

The thing is that N is 5 yrs old. I am 39. It's time for me to 'woman-up' see my worth. It's also time to give N everything I can to help him see his.

So me and my mini-me have some work to do. I have some forgiveness to ask for and some forgiveness to give.