Monday, October 12, 2009

Mini Me

ugh... this was one of those weekend's that I will be glad to move forward from.

For N it was opposite's weekend.

Whatever he was told to do he didn't, and whatever he was told not to do he did.

To say that by Sunday night I was more than ready to send him to bed would be an understatement. I even went for a run at 9pm just to work off some of the frustration. ;o)

D and I had a long talk on Sunday night about what our plan would be to move forward in his care. What we can do differently. It was a good talk. We are on the same page, we just need to get more consistent with our discipline.

N wasn't verbally defiant, just chose to do opposite, repeatedly of what we said.

This morning on the way to work I felt God speak into me... "He's just like you."

oh ouch! Really?! Ouch!

I had just been saying that I was so like Paul in his actions and here I was getting upset with my son for being

It's not to say that he should be allowed to get away with those things, but I think it helps me to see why it frustrates me soooooo much. It's because I see me in him, and because I am not so happy with me... it get's reflected right back on him.

Last night we went to Z's church, and this morning I know why. The pastor spoke of our worth. Being co-heirs with Christ. I am a child of God, THE God, and co-heir to the kingdom with God! So is N!

He spoke of sin being a struggle. He said "You don't struggle with temptation you struggle with identity."
He also said "It's not a behavioral issue, it's a value issue" It's not living like you are a child of God. It's not claiming your worth as a member of His kingdom.

It's me not accepting His place in life...and it's N doing the same.

The thing is that N is 5 yrs old. I am 39. It's time for me to 'woman-up' see my worth. It's also time to give N everything I can to help him see his.

So me and my mini-me have some work to do. I have some forgiveness to ask for and some forgiveness to give.


Are These Kids All Yours? said...

Feel your pain....I see that in my children too. So hard to admit, but letting Christ correct & heal you is sooo worth it. I by the way am still working on it...probably for the rest of my life!

Andrea H. said...

What a convicting post Andrea. I've never thought of it this way but it is so true. And what's funny too is that I thing the kids get mad so easily but forget so quickly where we just still thinking about it and see how we can correct the matter. We should form a small support group for us and encourage each other.