Thursday, July 16, 2009

Walking the Plank

So... you know how when you start household projects you end up doing way more than you originally thought?

You start by cleaning the carpets, then realize the walls need paint, then the furniture needs to be replaced, then the curtains aren't right ...... on and on and on...

I kind of feel like that's what's been happening to me.

So what is walking the plank? Just me being goofy... but I have learned that I am not really sure how I have been living my life because there have some pretty large planks in my eyes.

I feel like Paul did when he said "I do the things I do not want to, and do not do the things I should."

I thought of that scripture the other day when I was telling N for like the 10th time to stop doing something. I kid you not this child will look at you and do the thing you have told him not to, and then turn around and pray for God to give him listening ears. Precious little dimpled face...lol He is so much like me.

How like that am I? When I look at someone and think unkind thoughts...and as soon as they are in my head, I ask for forgiveness because who the heck am I to judge? I am not the judge... God is.... shush whispering Pride and Judgement!

I look at my husband and think... why can't you be less grumpy? But I am just as much a grumpy butt.

I look at N and ask God why can't he just listen?!!! And God says... I don't know Andrea, why can't you?

I look at S's room and ask why can't you clean up this mess, and then walk into my room and see the clothes that still need to be folded.

God is teaching me that I need to stop walking that plank... get them out of my own eyes. My hubby might just be less grumpy if I turned my lamp on and treated him with more respect and love. N might just listen...if I set the example. And S may clean her room if I clean mine. (or maybe she won't...she's a teenager)

I tend to expect so much from other people yet find that I make excuses for my own behavior. What is that about?

I am learning to stop and pray as soon as I feel that plank blinding me. What is it about the situation that makes me so mad? It's usually something that bugs me about my own sin, and I then am able to ask God right then and there for His forgiveness.

He is healing my heart and in return I am feeling that light begin to flicker to life again. It is a joy to serve Him. It's a joy to know Him. It's a joy to realize that I am loved by Him no matter the size of the planks in my eyes.

I was just speaking to S the other day about how God loves us just the way we are but refuses to leave us that way. Thank you God for wanting to make me better, to make me more in the image of you.

Thanks to those of you that have kept reading...lol This has been a pretty cool journey to be on with God. "Journaling" it here has helped me to see so many different aspects of what God wants to do in my life. Thank you also for the kind posts and emails. You are amazing!

Tomorrow I have fun news to share... well fun for me anyway. ;o)

1 comment:

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

Totally feel that same way- soooo many times! Thanks for being transparent!