In my recent journey to self discovery I have come across a revelation. I am not shiny.
Now I am not depressed or anything. But I have been praying alot for God to reveal to me the places in me that needed to change.
What I have found is that my joy isn't exactly gone...it's just not exactly present. I am talking about the kind of Joy you find while you are living for Christ. Resting in His Glory... in His light.
I am not sure why or when it went away, but I can see how it's been the thing in me that's different.
I had an experience about 10 yrs ago that was life changing. I was laying in bed praying. I felt like I had this God sized hole in my chest and I was earnestly asking him to fill it.... just to over flow in me. While I was praying I felt this warmth, peace and amazing grace...it surrounded and filled me. I felt like I was glowing. I just laid there basking in the feeling. Honestly I wondered if perhaps I had prayed myself into death...lol ( I had been sleeping in an old camp bunk bed, the kind with a 2 inch thick mattress. I was so comfortable in that moment I thought I couldn't possibly still be in the bunk)
I then felt like Christ was saying to me "Shine for me. Shine for ME."
I didn't know much about scripture at the time so after drifting to a deep and peaceful sleep I woke up the next morning and reached for my bible before my feet hit the ground. I began to search through it.
This is what I found:
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
It became my scripture. I would refer to it whenever I was feeling down or not so shiny.
I have not looked at this scripture for some time.
I am not shining. Not in the way I feel like Christ asked me to that night.
Life has gotten in the way. I have been focusing on so many outwardly issues, that I have placed myself under the spiritual "bowl".
Now the task before me is to honestly ask Christ to remove that bowl...I want to be the light on the stand again. I want to be the light in my house... to my husband and my children. I want people to see the good deeds that I do and Glorify my father in heaven... not me.
Just as the scripture in my title says: But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:18
I pray to be transformed into His image from glory to glory. What an image...
I want to Shine Shine Shine! I need to plug my lamp in.