Thursday, December 23, 2010

Disclosure Moment

So, other than here on the blog we do not announce E's hiv status much. We don't hide it, but it's not like we have him wear a sign every where.

This disclosure happened at a friend's home with our church friends. We kind of thought those that we hung out with, knew, like I said we don't share with every one. I mean who walks up to someone and says "Hello my name is Andrea, this is my son E, he has hiv (or cancer, or diabetes, or Hep B)"

So the kids were playing, E walks up to one of the moms and gives her a hug while she's sitting. She feels his g-tube through his shirt and asks what that is... I guess wondering if he had stuffed a toy in his pants or something? So D, who was sitting next to her told her about the g-tube.

Her next question of course was why he had it, so D told her.

I love this person... she's really great...but also opinionated and I was afraid we would have an issue on our hands afterwards. She didn't seem too upset, didn't freak out at the moment but then got a little bit gushy about how cute and sweet E is....

It was one of those moments where I wasn't sure which way this could have gone...and it still could be an issue if she takes it back to the children's ministry at church and says something to them. Our Pastor knows and has no issue, and I know he will stand for E.

I don't care who knows about E's long as they don't hold it against him. I worry that there will be people that won't react well and I will have to defend my son against some one's ignorance.

I don't think about the hiv often to be honest... any more, I look at him in awe. I see his strength and sweet spirit and loving heart. I see his sense of humor and silly smile and incredible brain... and think. MAN! We almost missed this!!! If he had died in that hospital bed in Ethiopia we would have missed all this... we would have missed life with him.

That's not something you can get across to someone who is worried about an illness that they know nothing about and can't 'catch'...I don't sit here in judgement on those people. ...LOL unless they mess with my son.

For the most part people are very understanding, have done their own homework after finding out, and haven't had any outward issues with him. We have been blessed. Even those that in the beginning thought we were insanely stupid for adopting him, are now in love with him.

So I guess these moments will come up through out life, and I will get more used to them, and I will have to defend my child to some...and others will be ok. It's the way of life. I pray that we are able to end a little stigma and share a little love. Cause who the heck meets E-man and doesn't love him??!! :)


Deb said...

It's funny how much I "get" that. A few friends have questioned our openness because it is on the blog. And yet, most who read my blog are people who don't live here or even know about the blog. :) It's tricky isn't it???

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

It is hard for those who are not educated. Praying it doesn't turn into anything. Your kiddos are so cute!!! Who wouldn't love them unconditionally :)

I had cancer as a child and got lots of questions about if it was catchy?? crazy

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you even have to worry about people's reactions. E is special and wonderful, like every child!

Happy Christmas!

TJ said...

Can't wait to meet all of you someday soon!
Terri, Mike, Nebyat & Jetu