Friday, November 6, 2009

Adoption is... a leap of faith

I totally realize that a ton of people adopt who do not believe in God, or Christ. This is in no way a slight to anyone!

The road for our family is paved with faith in God. I know that without our faith we never would have gone on this journey. Man am I glad we did... for so very many reasons!
It began for us November of 2004 at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. His story about adoption and the questions he asked the audience caused a God moment between my husband and myself that led us to hear Him leading us to adopt.

The road hasn't been straight, nor has it been easy. We ran into many obstacles. There was even a time in the beginning that we had a resounding NO from the legal stand point. God led us to get a law changed in our state so that we and other would be able to adopt.

Had we not been listening to another couple in church after we received the news that we could not adopt legally we never would have moved forward.

I will never forget the day we were sitting in the front row at church listening to the story of the couple who was adopting. I just began to was almost as if God had sat down beside me and said... You will do this too.

We began the process of changing the law. Anyone in politics knows that it's not an easy task. Have you ever listened to School House Rock? How a Bill becomes a bill. It's crazy! Only through God could that have happened. Even the guy representing us in the gov't wasn't all that optimistic. We showed him!

With that behind us we got to start the mounds of paperwork. Have you ever bought a house? Yep it's like that...only WAY more invasive. It's funny the only questions they asked me when I birthed my other 2 kids were whether or not I wanted an epidural.

When you adopt you get to answer things like what kind of childhood did you have, and how will you raise your children, and why you want to adopt. It's thought provoking really. I got to think about alot of areas that I needed to ask God to heal me well as places I realized I had already put behind me.

My personal biggest test of faith came in the form of a terrible 4-letter word.... can you guess it?

It's W-A-I-T.

ugh! Honestly it's the hardest part.. waiting. Wondering. Stressing. And honestly we waited like a week to get N's referral and we chose E-Man so it's not like we had to wait all that long. (Those of you that have been waiting FOREVER, please forgive my brief whine. I SO feel for you.)

We did have to wait for some delays in E's court cases, there were papers missing and people to be found, and medical stuff to wade through. Nothing that is out of the ordinary truly. And the agency was great... I just spent ALOT of time whining to God about why we were still waiting...and pressing the refresh button on my email to see if I had gotten any news.

Choosing to adopt E-man as an HIV+ child was actually one of the easiest things for me to do. It took my hubby longer to come around...because he was scared. He still had the vision in his head of it being a death sentence. There ARE stigma's still out there...and still fear...but we clearly felt like because we wanted another child, we wanted one that needed us... as much as we wanted them. So this was a perfect fit.

Faith moved us through the decision to choose him. It moved us through those first few days when we were told he was probably not going to live, to those days in ET when we were overwhelmed, through 12 days in the hospital, to the stares from people wondering what was wrong with him because of all the molluscum and tubes.... and now into a place that we know we can handle whatever life throws at us.

The majority of adoptions are relatively easy. Some paperwork, some waiting, a referral, travel to meet your child and life moves on. NOT to minimize any one's journey, it's ALL worth it... but to let anyone who's thinking about adopting know that's good stuff! It's totally do-able... totally worth it.

Not everyone is called to adopt. I do get that too! But we can all just takes a leap of faith.


Amy Jo said...

Love the series you are doing. So powerful. I pray that MANY hearts are opened as they read your blog - both to adoption and God's incredible love. (BTW - The Chapmans were the reason WE chose to adopt!) Praying God's sweet and abundant blessings upon you and your beautiful family! With JOY, Amy

Cindy said...

sigh...well written my friend. And you know my feelings on the "waiting" word too. We've been through it together - more than once! :)
Love ya!

Holli said...

thank you again! needed this one after yesterday!!!
God is so good and I don't know how people make it through this process without Him. Life to of course but for me I couldn't do this with our HIM!!!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I love it!!! I don't even know how those who aren't Christians do it...I couldn't do any of it without my faith and friends supporting us!!! I love hearing the stories....

LisaShaw said...

Hey Sis, your blog was all brown with a faint color on the words and with my vision I sadly couldn't read a thing. I'm so sorry. I didn't know if you changed your blog or if it's something on my end.

Love you.

Andrea Hill said...

I love this serious you have been doing on adoption. You always come up with such neat stuff. And I haven't read them all yet. I don't like skimming through it but rather read it slowly. So I will read the rest tomorrow. But today is so good. I don't know either how people do it without faith but can't knock em if they still do because I have no clue how they do it. I too cannot imagine how we could have done it without faith. I think the testing of patience was it for me because we started out in 2006 and didn't end up coming home with children until Jan 2009, almost 3 years later.

Anonymous said...

The information here is great. I will invite my friends here.