When Momma Ain't Happy...

ain't nobody happy.

I know you have heard that phrase before, perhaps even said it yourself. Possibly even felt that way. :) Perhaps you have the magnet on your fridge?

It's something I have come to realize has a certain ring of truth to it. Unfortunately I have also found that I do have more of an impact on the mood of my home that I had realized before.

Over the last 7 weeks I have made some changes in my life. For the better, and I am beginning to see the changes that are happening in my home because of it.

I have been getting up every week day morning at 5am for 7 weeks, going to the gym and working out for an hour at a time. I can feel my strength increasing, my stress decreasing and my mood lifting. I can feel myself the change in me. I use that hour to listen to praise music and pray. I love that time alone with my headphones and God. :) The scale isn't really cooperating as well as I would like. I have lost 5lbs in those 7 weeks, but I hear slow and steady is the best. :)

I have chosen to take my issues to God first. To then follow the path He would have me walk.

I confronted the person at church that has been so contrary, asked for a mediator in the meeting and actually went through with it. I HATE confrontation. I don't like it when people don't like me, I don't like it when people see the side of me that isn't the one that the world usually sees. I normally would just fester and rot over it, or quit the ministry that I have to be in with this person. But that's not what would serve the committee or the church in the best way. I needed to suck it up and confront, and try to move past the hurt and pain caused by the past several months of ugliness.

I have also taken a volunteer position that I am SO excited about!!!! I will be the Virginia Regional Representative for Project HOPEFUL! I am so excited to work with them, and to be able to see the fruit of this amazing ministry. I am going to Chicago for the weekend to learn about the programs they are doing to educate people about hiv adoption. I also hope to learn more about the Almost Homes project happening in Ethiopia.

What I have found in this process of exercising, confronting, and committing is that I am a happier person. I find the joy more often, I see the humor, I find the grace in the moment.

This has effected my household. The boys are happier. They are more content. They seem more able to regulate. They completed their first week at school with success, pride and happiness. N had a great week. He's been better at controlling himself, and regulating his behaviors. E, who was excited but apprehensive, had an amazing week. He wasn't happy that he wouldn't be going back to school on Saturday. :) Just this morning the Sunday School director told me about an incident that N was involved in where he chose to remove himself from what could have become ugly. The other child antagonizing him... she kind of joked that she expected N to push the kid over, because he frankly deserved it, but N was so good about it. AND she recognized it in him, and TO him. That's huge. ;)

The relationship I have with my hotty hubby is better. We have had more relaxed times, and happiness. When those regular flare-up moments happen we are more easily past them.

Choosing to care for myself and focus on God has brought me to a place of more peace.

ssssshhhhhh He's also working something that could be HUGE and smokey as well... if you so choose, some prayer would be great. ;) Only His Will to be done.

Gotta go to bed, that gym time sure comes early. ;)