Then it was about our adoption of E.... then it was just a way for me to vent and get our all of the feelings that I had about having the 2 boys home and an outlet for the stress.
Then life became the new norm... quiet...ok well not quiet.. but normal. Every. day. life. living.
I have often thought about what in the world I should write about. I mean most of the people that read this...all 30 of you...lol already have a heart for the orphan so mostly I preach to the choir... I have wanted to write more about what it's like to live with a child that has hiv... but you would be bored to tears. :)
You see, I have found I am not a good hiv mom blogger. While I was in Chicago I found that I was probably not even a good hiv+ mom period...lol There were 4 of us there together, discussing our daily lives with hiv+ kids. Amazing women!!! LOVE them!
Twice a day 2 mom alarms would go off to remind them to give their kids their meds.
Um... I don't do an alarm. This is in no way to dismiss the other mom's whom I LOVE... it's me... I just don't do the alarm thing. We give meds in the morning and at night... mostly around the same time each night. But there are times when we are off by an hour or 2. Had me worrying a little bit that perhaps we were screwing something up. But when we came home our PID guy said, morning and night... at roughly the same time... so, that's what we do.
Then we were talking about emergency kits. You know the zip lock bags with the gloves, band aids and other safety things, just in case something happens with E.
Um...again... no safety bag. I wonder if that makes me stupid or a bad mom? But to be honest, I have wipes and tissues, and always have a band aids. I have always felt that if I were going to tell people that my child was not a risk to them, then I needed to act that way. I am not careless, if there is blood I use a tissue or a wipe, and I do carry band aids. But an emergency kit? nope.
Honestly things just are ...normal here.
We do have a g-tube, and it's messy. It's not really ever healed all the way, so we have to keep it covered and cleaned.
We do have meds that we give each day, twice a day...4 in the morning and 3 at night. Plus his allergy meds, and the occasional inhaler...but it's life.
So occasionally I wonder... am I a bad mom for not being stringent with meds and always being prepared?
Then I look at his little healthy face. I feel his strong arms around me as he hugs me in the grocery store chanting quietly "Mommy. Mommmmy. Mommy.Mommmmy."
I may not have it all together...but I am the mommy who loves him with all that I have.