Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Always learning...

I thought I would share a few of the wonderful things about my N, since I have shared some of our struggles. In the past months of praying for him, and for us, and for his behaviors I have begun to see more and more that he's just a boy with a huge heart that hurts easily, and a huge brain that needs extra stimulation, and a huge capacity to store energy and that needs an outlet.

My N is a sweet boy. He is a lover. He just loves everyone. He doesn't like to see anything in pain. While I was sick over the weekend he tried very hard to contain some of that boundless energy, and sit with momma and kiss her head to make her feel better. He would get my drink and hand me tissues and ask me if I was ok. Last night daddy was asleep in the couch cause mommy was nice enough to share her illness with him, and N went up to him and kissed his forehead. (both boys have gotten their flu shots and they are working great!!) What a sweet sight. I think sometimes it's his big heart that gets hurt, and he reacts the only way he knows how...he strikes back. N wants so badly for people to love him the way he loves them, and when they hurt him, he takes it very personally. I can sure understand that.

He has an amazing imagination. He is always thinking up stuff that just amazes me. Two weekends ago he decided that he had 2 dinosaur invisible friends. These dinosaurs followed him every where and at times got him in trouble. ;o)

He is smarter than the average bear...lol His teacher has said that she is going to work him a little bit harder than the other kids because she thinks he needs the challenge. Last night he told us that he wants to be a builder just like daddy, but daddy needs to teach him how to do things because he won't know how to do it if daddy doesn't teach him (duh!)....lol

I sure do love this kid!!!

When we started with the behavior issues back in Oct/Nov I reacted in a defense mode I think. I felt like a failure, how could I be a good mom and him keep doing what he is doing. I realize now that there were so many factors that contributed to the melt down, and my lack of ability to 'fix' it humiliated me. Well guess what... it's not about me. Weird huh?! As we move forward I am reminded that his ginormous heart is tender, and he needs me to get over myself and stand up for him. Now this may not news to some of you and some of you may be thinking... sheesh! you are SLOW... and I would readily agree. But I am a parent that is constantly learning, I want to be the best mom, and when I found out that I may not have been succeeding I was crushed. I am over being crushed and ready to stand up again.


Cindy said...

Once again, you inspire me. You are a great mom - even through the "failure". We all fail. We are not perfect my friend. We just do the best we can. And when we KNOW better, we DO better. God's holding all of you in this. He's got it covered by His grace!

Unknown said...

What a wonderful gift you have been given in your boy!