Holes...

This is why I love blog world!

Most of the people that read my blog are from the adoption world, at least those that comment.... ;o) And you get it! ;o)

And if you don't get it at least you will pray for me, or you keep it to yourself... love ya for that too! ;o)

This whole wanting a girl thing can only be from God.

Don't get me wrong, I love little girls, I love my S... but I have a soft spot for little boys. I love my guys. Girls have so much drama and estrogen. Honestly I have enough of that on my own. ;o)

So this whole longing for a little girl has got to be from Him.

Back when we were moving forward with E's adoption we were given the opportunity to possibly adopt an infant set of twins, domestically. I agonized over the decision for several days until God very clearly said to me.... "there is a little boy out there waiting for you". I just knew in my heart that these babies would be taken care of, but that there was a little boy out there that needed me. It was my E.

I feel the same way this time. There is a little girl out there some where.....

We were at a restaurant for my parent's anniversary on Sunday night and a couple came in with 2 little girls. They were of Asian descent. The littlest one was maybe 2 yrs old, and just the most beautiful little girl. She sat across the room observing us the whole time. My heart ached for a little girl just like her.

So... perhaps someday my heart will be filled. D's not ready.

Maybe if E would tell daddy every day (like he tells me) that he wants a baby sister, I might see that day sooner rather than later. ;o)

I do have a mission team to complete. That calling has not changed, and I am more excited than ever to go!

I know God knows my heart just like He knows each of you dreaming and praying for your own little person sized hole's to be filled.

Thank you for your prayers, your assurance of my sanity, and support. ;o) My prayers are with each of you as well.

Can't wait to see where God leads us. I just know it will be better than good!

Crazy?

So I haven't really kept it a secret. I am ready for another baby... child...another addition period.

So why is it that I am the only one ready?

D and I were at dinner on Friday night with our couples group. D said something about my Big Ben bio clock...lol And the other 2 couples looked at me like I had 8 eyes.

One couple has 2 teens and are literally counting the days until they move out. The other couple is just happy with the 3 kids they have.

To be honest, the reaction was painful.

Why is it crazy to want to love another child?

Nope we do not have 20 - 30k laying around to adopt another one.

Nope N didn't transition well with E. But we have gotten over that hump and he would LOVE a sister. He needs a girl to play house with. ;o)

Nope we don't have the money to send S to college laying around but that's what they make student loans for isn't it?

None of my children are lacking. For anything. Love, food, shelter, education, goodness knows they have too much 'stuff'.

Why is it crazy to want another child to love? To give another child a home that doesn't have one?

Having more children isn't for every one. Adoption isn't for every one. Having children period isn't for every one.

My arms ache for another child. My heart hurts for the one I feel is missing.

So...call me crazy.

I guess I am.

p.s. if anyone has an extra 20k laying around... I could use it... so could a little girl somewhere, I know it! ;o)

Just pics from Turkey day

Of course they are backwards again...some day I will remember to upload them the right way.

My boys.

My brother and sweet M

So handsome...

Me and my oldest ;o) ugh... the hair may be 'fixed' but I still am not fond of it!


Prep tome ;o)
My and our friend J trying to look cool while running ;o)
Not sure what D's doing?
Sweet sleepy boy.....

Thanksiving

What a day! ;o)

So much to be thankful for!

We started the day with D and I meeting some friends to run in the local Turkey Trot 10k. It was a glorious morning, cool, sunny but just enough clouds that I got to see my favorite "Jesus Lights" streaming through.

D was running his first race. He was pretty excited. He's naturally athletic, pretty much can do anything athletically. SO the opposite of me! I ended up running by myself this time because he was so much faster. But it was really ok. We ran through our neighborhood so it was fun to run with a bunch of other people along the same paths I usually do. I just took in the beauty of the day and time with God. Also got to bask in the knowledge that I was going to be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner guilt free! ;o) D finished way before me, so he came back to 'get me' and run over the finish line with me. That was fun...show off! ;o)

I did beat my time from the last 10 k by 5 mins. YAY! D has decided that we are going to train for the Shamrock Half Marathon in March. Oiy!

The kids were with my mom in law and they got to cheer us along on the course.

We then went home and watched the end of the Macy's Day Parade. I was sad to have missed most of it, but we did get to see Santa.

S went to work on her contribution to dinner. She made an apple crisp, from scratch. It was fun to watch her in the kitchen, she's becoming quite the little baker. E helped her with the apples, he would hand them to her to peel then put them in the bowl when she was done. N helped with the crisp part.

Then daddy made his famous sweet potato casserole and I made the mashed potatoes. The boys both helped with that as well.

Off to mom's we went at about 4. Of course we ate too much food but it was grand to be with family, I have missed my mom.

I think the highlight of the night for me though was watching E and my niece M race around together. They were having so much fun. This is the niece that in the beginning wasn't going to be able to be around E ...ever...and there they were chasing each other around and being encouraged to play together by her parents. Praise God for healing and misconceptions being cleared!

It was a better than good day!

Friday found D and I both at work... yuck! BUT! I was my last day in the old job. Monday I start the new one!!

oh...and a little funny happened. The boys and I were waiting in the van while daddy went in to get our race stuff on Wednesday night when out of the blue E says "Mommy, I want a baby sister" Then N says "I don't want a baby, I want one that's 4 or 5"...lol

Of course daddy wasn't around to hear it! Still praying that God will tell D clearly when it's time... and that he's listening! ;o)

Just stuff...and Happy Thanksgiving

There is just too much happening in life to share to make this post about just one thing…lol

Last night D and I went to see Blind Side. SEE IT! Oh my goodness. What a great movie. I was touched by the relationship with the mom in the movie and Michael the main character. I have a soft spot in my heart for boys. I have an especially soft spot for teen boys without the love of a momma. Teen boys need a momma… they also need a strong father figure…but there’s something about the relationship between a mom and her son. Z’s friend Josh has that spot in my heart. I would take him home and care for him in a heart beat. When I see the teen boys waiting to be adopted my heart hurts. This movie made me think about all those boys waiting for homes and a family.

While we were waiting for the movie to start we were talking about the holiday. My mom had just come home from PA where she has been taking care of my grandparents so we were thinking about holidays passed. D said, “I guess we won’t be having big family holiday’s at Mom and Dad’s (I call my grandparents mom and dad) house any more.” It struck me that he was right. Then it struck me how very sad that made me. I have the best memories of holidays spent at my grandparent’s house. My mom is one of 6 kids so when we all got together there was always lots of fun. As I was growing up my grandparent’s house was always the place I called home. I never lived there for an extended period of time, but it’s the place that felt like home to me. It’s where my best memories are, it’s where I felt the most love, it’s where I found my basis for my faith.

I am bummed that it won’t be the same again. I am blessed with the memories I do have to cherish.

Speaking of holiday’s E cracks me up! He made the “I am thankful for…” Turkey picture at school and brought it home yesterday. Want to know what he was thankful for? He was thankful for House, Pigs, Drinks and Coffee. Yep, Pigs and Coffee. ??????

We questioned him about the pigs trying to figure out what that was about. He said “Me no want dogs, me want pig.” “You take Buddy and Gabriel (our dogs) back to store and buy pig?” Um, nope not gonna happen little man. ;o)

No idea where that came from. Got so caught up in the pigs I forgot to ask him about the coffee. More on that later.

Tomorrow is the Turkey Trot in our neighborhood. I haven’t had time to do much in the way of training so it’s going to be interesting to see how it all works out. ;o) D is running with me, as are a ton of our friends. Should be fun actually ;o)

I was thinking this morning about what I am thankful for today. Oddly enough I am thankful today for Blogs and my Blogger friends. ;o)

I have learned so much from so many of you. I have come to love many of you as well. I have made some amazing friends, a best friend, dear friends that can’t wait to know more. I have been blessed by the emails to get to know each other better. The texts from others letting me know they are praying. I have been challenged, stretched, touched and amused by you my friends. I am also thankful to those of you that read this blog, those that I know and those that don’t I appreciate your time and interest in my ramblings. ;o)

May your Thanksgiving find you blessed abundantly!

Today I am thankful for medicine

I know it seems weird, but today I am reminded that I am thankful for medicine.

I had to take E for his H1N1 booster shot. We went to his PID office to get it. I was struck by what life was like just a year ago. We were just beginning to see the positive effects of the medicine that he takes to keep him alive. He was beginning to grow and all the yucky's on his head and over his body were clearing. The strange rashes and spots were clearing and he was beginning to look and feel like a little kid again.

I was having a conversation about HIV/AIDS the other night. Trying to explain the issue with lack of meds and fear of disclosure in so many places. How mothers and children die every day because they do not have access to medicine or are afraid to find out about their status because of the terrible stigma.

Here in the U.S. if my child is sick I take them to the Dr or the hospital. In so many other countries mothers have to watch their children die because they do not have access to simple medications or basic health care. I was reading a blog today of an adoptive family in another country to pick up their daughter. She's in the hospital in that country. Something she said struck a chord in me.

The facilities just aren't the same there as here. N was very sick when he was brought into his care center and E got sick while there. It's a miracle they both lived. All those medical things we take for granted aren't even a possibility in so many places.

So, today. I am thankful for medicine. Thankful for the meds that keep our E alive. Those that healed N.

My heart hurts for those that don't have them when they need them.

Life...is full!

It's been another one of those weeks. ;o)

It's been a birthday week for S.

Monday she had dinner with friends.

Tuesday (her actual birthday) we took her to dinner.

Wednesday was just dinner and youth celebration at church.

Thursday I had a mission team meeting (good stuff!) Then I took S to see the midnight opening of New Moon. oh my goodness!!! I am way too old to be out that late on a school night! ;o) It was fun, she was thrilled and we had some great mom and daughter time.

Friday night was her birthday party here at the house. We had the usual 25 + kids here to celebrate. This time we had a fire pit in the back yard and they roasted hot dogs and made s'mores. It was a great night. ;o)

Saturday I had to get up early to drive to Richmond for the United Methodist Mission Team Leader training. It was really good. I rode with friends so it made the ride that much more fun, and the 2 hours went by quickly.

By Saturday night I was done. Stick a fork in me and put me to bed. Done.

Today's church service was great. Pastor spoke about worry and why we shouldn't do it. It's not a new message but one that it never hurts to hear over and over again! We then went to lunch with our Sunday school class. That was fun, all our little kids hanging out and playing. I got to hold our Sunday school teacher's month old baby girl. What a joy that was!!! oh precious tiny thing!

Tonight was the perfect ending to a crazy week. We had a couple over that we love dearly, along with my mother in law. We ate dinner and then proceeded to pray over our house. We started in the master bedroom, then moved on to each and every room in the house. We prayed God in and prayed Satan out. It was powerful and moving and amazing. We had never intentionally prayed over the house and the other day I just felt strongly that it was something we needed to do. There has been some weirdness going on with attitudes and sadness and anger and I wanted it gone from the home. God has intentionally been invited in, and Satan ordered out. Praise the Lord!

This week I will be focusing on all the things I am thankful for... it's something I try to do each year at this time. Although we really should do it all year long huh? ;o)

Tonight I am thankful for my God. He is first and foremost the most important thing in my life. Without Him I would be nothing. I would not have any of the other things I am thankful for. So tonight I give God all the glory and honor for all things.

Blessings to you all!