What now?

I have had a little more time to think about this trip since I have been home.

It was a hard transition back to 'real' life. I was surprised by my sadness and grumpiness to be honest. I was so happy while I was in Ethiopia. I stepped out of my comfort zone so many times it felt a bit like the Twilight Zone.

I felt a freedom there that I don't here. My stepping into the small, dark, hot house in Korah to sit with that mother on her bed isn't something that comes naturally to me here. Choosing to just get off the bus when it broke down so that I could talk to the kids and teens isn't something I normally do... these are things I did without thinking while I was there. I just moved as God led me and it was wonderful.

I truly woke up every morning excited about what the day would hold, wondering what God would do and where He would lead.

I loved opening my door and breathing in the air ...smog, diesel and fume filled. I loved making those connections with people...asking them about their lives, wanting to know... not always knowing what to do or say in response, but wanting to know nonetheless.

The people of Ethiopia are so open... and in so much need. Rick, my team member, and I were discussing Tezera and her vision and work. He said "She is truly saving lives". She is ...she is bringing women into her compound that have experienced things that we cannot even fathom. She's not only giving them life here on earth she's sharing Christ with them as well. What a gift!

I love Ethiopia. I love it. I miss it.

As I was walking down the road with my team to church on Sunday in Adama, I was holding the hand of my friend D. I looked at Tim and said "I wish my D were here to see this, I'll bet he would let me adopt again" :o)Tim said "Maybe you aren't supposed to adopt. Maybe your life is here, with these children". That has had me in a bit of a wrestle with God.

I have no idea what God has in store for me. I know I am not done going to Ethiopia. I know I will be back. I don't know what it will look like... or when it will be.

I still laugh every time I think of my thoughts when I first became a Christian... Africa was a scary place... it was what I feared the most, being a missionary in Africa. Now it's what I desire in my heart of hearts. God sure has a sense of humor huh? Gotta love Him!

I just read these words from the Steven Curtis Chapman Song:

What Now?

I saw the face of Jesus in a little orphan girl
She was standing in the corner on the other side of the world
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my heart
Didn't you say you wanted to find me?
Well here I am, here you are

So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you've found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You've found me
What now?

And I saw the face of Jesus down on Sixteenth Avenue
He was sleeping in an old car, while his mom went looking for food
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my soul
Didn't you say you wanted to know me?
Well here I am, and it's getting cold

So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you've found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You've found me

So, come and know
Come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now
Come and know
Come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now

What will you do now that you found me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you've found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You've found me
What now?
What now?

What now? I don't know. Can't wait to see.