My friend sent me this link this morning. I felt like it was perfect considering my last couple of posts on parenthood...LOL
enjoy.....
The MOM Song
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Little more about living with E ;o)
I wanted to clarify a little something about our little man.
Adopting E in the shape he was in, was the exception not the rule.
Most of the kids that are available for adoption that have HIV are relatively healthy, come home already taking meds and are doing great, or don't even need them yet and do great as well.
When we first accepted E's referral he was 'healthy'. We sent our paper work in, it was received on Friday and on Monday we received the news that he was in the hospital in very serious condition. I feel like we accepted him at just the right time, so that he would know that he had a family waiting for him. To give him hope and something to fight for. There were a a couple of other precious children that went to the hospital with him, that didn't live to see a new family here on earth. E is a miracle in many ways. Our Ped told us not to expect him to live... and now look at him!!! ;o)
So here are some of the fun things about living with E.
He has a scrappy streak... this kid doesn't take any crap...lol If you saw the pictures of he and N playing with our Christmas house guest you will know what I am talking about. Josh is 6' 8" and about 190lbs. E would attack his knees so that Josh would play with him. E literally comes to just above his knees... too funny.
He's also mischievous. He LOVES to 'pull a fast one' on you. He loves to sneak up on you and scare you. The other night D was on the computer and I was in the living room. E comes in puts his finger to his mouth to say shhhhhhh, with a look as if to say (don't say anything, I am gonna get him!) then he takes off running into the office and shouts out to scare daddy. Then come screaming and laughing back in to me when daddy tried to catch him. He also enjoys hiding when one of us comes home from work. Even if you see him first he will still run into the play room to hide from you... yelling "hide" the whole way. ;o)
He loves music and loves to dance. Oh I wish you could see him little face and body when he dances. He has no rhythm. But he works i. ;o)
He says "Uv you" in the sweetest little voice. And caresses your face.
He is stubborn to a fault. And while I always say this is something I think will serve him later in life, it doesn't always work out so well when you are trying to deal with a preschooler...lol Nor is it helpful when you are trying to keep from an activity that is bad, and he's determined to do it any way. He's one tenacious little dude!
He loves to sleep in. And while I completely understand this desire, it is also something that doesn't work well when we are trying to get ready for school in the morning. And it doesn't really matter when we put them to bed, he still hates getting up in the morning...lol
He loves hot dogs and pasta. He only drinks milk and water.
He's smart as a whip, he already knows most of his colors, some letters, and can count to 5. He can tie things together in pretty intricate knots, and he colors within the lines. He loves to have a schedule, and things done a certain way.
He knows daddy will "ficks sit" (fix it), daddy just fixes stuff...lol And he also seems to have more of a sense of safety when Daddy is around. I know how he feels! ;o) I like having daddy around too.
He's just started wanting to know "why?". I know Amanda can relate...lol
He's just been a blessing to know and watch grow. I just love this kid!!!!!
Adopting E in the shape he was in, was the exception not the rule.
Most of the kids that are available for adoption that have HIV are relatively healthy, come home already taking meds and are doing great, or don't even need them yet and do great as well.
When we first accepted E's referral he was 'healthy'. We sent our paper work in, it was received on Friday and on Monday we received the news that he was in the hospital in very serious condition. I feel like we accepted him at just the right time, so that he would know that he had a family waiting for him. To give him hope and something to fight for. There were a a couple of other precious children that went to the hospital with him, that didn't live to see a new family here on earth. E is a miracle in many ways. Our Ped told us not to expect him to live... and now look at him!!! ;o)
So here are some of the fun things about living with E.
He has a scrappy streak... this kid doesn't take any crap...lol If you saw the pictures of he and N playing with our Christmas house guest you will know what I am talking about. Josh is 6' 8" and about 190lbs. E would attack his knees so that Josh would play with him. E literally comes to just above his knees... too funny.
He's also mischievous. He LOVES to 'pull a fast one' on you. He loves to sneak up on you and scare you. The other night D was on the computer and I was in the living room. E comes in puts his finger to his mouth to say shhhhhhh, with a look as if to say (don't say anything, I am gonna get him!) then he takes off running into the office and shouts out to scare daddy. Then come screaming and laughing back in to me when daddy tried to catch him. He also enjoys hiding when one of us comes home from work. Even if you see him first he will still run into the play room to hide from you... yelling "hide" the whole way. ;o)
He loves music and loves to dance. Oh I wish you could see him little face and body when he dances. He has no rhythm. But he works i. ;o)
He says "Uv you" in the sweetest little voice. And caresses your face.
He is stubborn to a fault. And while I always say this is something I think will serve him later in life, it doesn't always work out so well when you are trying to deal with a preschooler...lol Nor is it helpful when you are trying to keep from an activity that is bad, and he's determined to do it any way. He's one tenacious little dude!
He loves to sleep in. And while I completely understand this desire, it is also something that doesn't work well when we are trying to get ready for school in the morning. And it doesn't really matter when we put them to bed, he still hates getting up in the morning...lol
He loves hot dogs and pasta. He only drinks milk and water.
He's smart as a whip, he already knows most of his colors, some letters, and can count to 5. He can tie things together in pretty intricate knots, and he colors within the lines. He loves to have a schedule, and things done a certain way.
He knows daddy will "ficks sit" (fix it), daddy just fixes stuff...lol And he also seems to have more of a sense of safety when Daddy is around. I know how he feels! ;o) I like having daddy around too.
He's just started wanting to know "why?". I know Amanda can relate...lol
He's just been a blessing to know and watch grow. I just love this kid!!!!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
6 Months Home...living with E
We have been home now for almost 6 months and man, what a time!!!
We have to put together our 6 month report so I thought I would share a bit with you about how life has been.
I would also like to show you a bit more about how God performs miracles.
These were taken just before we arrived in ET to pick him
This was taken last week.
Can't wait to see how things look in another 6 months... God is SO good!
We have to put together our 6 month report so I thought I would share a bit with you about how life has been.
I would also like to show you a bit more about how God performs miracles.
These were taken just before we arrived in ET to pick himThis was taken last week.
And this one in the last month or so.
Pretty amazing huh?!
We met a wonderful mother while in ET and she said several times that she wanted to see him after he had been home 6 months. ;o)
We have learned SO much in these past months.
What we have learned in these past 6 months has been tremendous, both about ourselves as well as about E.
I think one of the biggest surprises we have had is the ease of living with a child with HIV. That is not to say that we don't anticipate issues in the future, although those will surely mostly be due to stigma and lack of education. But all the health issues we have had have been secondary to the HIV. With the g-tube (that has turned out to be a Godsend even though it terrified me in the begining) E takes his meds without issue. He takes them twice a day with out argument, it takes all of about 2 minutes, and he is down and playing again. If we are going to be out when he is supposed to take them we just take them along, we excuse ourselves from the activity for a moment, do meds and then again... off we are back to the activity. No problem.
It just takes some creativity and flexibility.
We do still see the Dr monthly while we make sure all the other health issues are under control and his meds are working. As of Jan 19 he is up to 31 lbs, and the numbers that tell us that his ARV's (Anti-Retrovirals) are working are fantastic! He's pretty much a normal healthy boy now. Thank you God!
We do not keep his status a secret, nor do we announce it to every one we meet. We do have one acception to that rule, and that has been the new daycare he is in. Since we had had N in the old daycare for more than a year and felt we knew them well, we disclosed E's status. This ended up biting us in the butt...almost literally...lol They looked for ways to get him removed, non of which were truly valid, so we removed him ourselves.
There has never been a case of transmission in a daycare. Normal universal precautions are to be taken with all children. I can tell you that the CDC has deemed it safe to live 'normal' lives and attend school or daycare and since they tend to be over the top cautious, daycare is a non-issue. I completely understand the fear that can be involved, and know where it comes from... however if I thought my other children living at home were at risk, we would not have pursued this adoption. And heck they are more likely to get into scrapes at home rough housing than anywhere else...lol
We have been stretched farther than we thought possible, and know we have more growing to do. We have been blessed beyond belief by our friends and family. Friends that have stepped up to the plate to help in countless ways and loved our children, and supported us through some scary times. For family that began with concerns but have also stepped up and embraced E with open arms and love. Just the other night at my dad's birthday party E went up to Dad, held his hands up to him to be picked up, said "Uv you!" and gave him a huge hug and kiss. Dad had tears in his eyes, as he was one of the nay sayers who has been won by the love of a little boy.
If I had it to do again, I would. If D would let me, we would be heading back soon. He feels like we are done and is happy with life as it is. ;o) And that's ok. I will pray for God to either give me a peace with what we have, or give him a nudge that there may be another child waiting for us to give him/her love and a home. ;o)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wisdom
Since my "wimpy" post I have been doing alot of thinking and praying about, well, my roll as a parent.
This morning I received a devotional via email that gave me 2 great verses.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you." James 1:5a (NLT)
"Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding." (NLT) Proverbs 2:2-3
I started out parenting at a young age and when we decided to adopt after parenting for many years I thought it would be easier. I had learned through trial and error growing up with my children. Perhaps that was where I stumbled a bit. You never know it all especially in parenting. And hearing where I need to grow and change, while painful, is a good lesson. Because regardless of what I may think, Z's assessment of my parenting short falls, are his reality.
I can learn from what he told me. As Lisa said, there aren't perfect parents, but I feel we are to strive to bring up our children under God's love. I frequently pray to love my children with the heart of God. When we first brought N home, and we were in the throws of learning about each other and dealing toddler AND adoption issues, I often rocked him to sleep crying out to God for His Grace and strength and to be given the ability to love his child, this gift with the heart of Christ. And He gave me that love.
I have been thinking about how I will need to grow as N and E grow. With N we will deal with childhood issues, adoption thoughts, and unfortunately racism. He will need to know that we are parents that can listen, understand and love him unconditionally. We will need to be firm and loving and understand that he will experience things that we never have, and give him guidance as to how to handle these issues. E will have the added stigma of his illness. I can't be a parent that isn't willing to hear that I have places to grow and improve and strengthen.
So I ask Christ today give me the wisdom to parent as He would have me, with His heart and His grace. I know I will fall short. ;o) I will just continue to pray. ;o)
Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. And also the reminder of those times when I was a teen, and not so nice myself. Can't be but so arrogant and "holier than thou" when you are reminded of your short comings ;o) I prefer to be humbled. ;o)
Blessings
This morning I received a devotional via email that gave me 2 great verses.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you." James 1:5a (NLT)
"Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding." (NLT) Proverbs 2:2-3
I started out parenting at a young age and when we decided to adopt after parenting for many years I thought it would be easier. I had learned through trial and error growing up with my children. Perhaps that was where I stumbled a bit. You never know it all especially in parenting. And hearing where I need to grow and change, while painful, is a good lesson. Because regardless of what I may think, Z's assessment of my parenting short falls, are his reality.
I can learn from what he told me. As Lisa said, there aren't perfect parents, but I feel we are to strive to bring up our children under God's love. I frequently pray to love my children with the heart of God. When we first brought N home, and we were in the throws of learning about each other and dealing toddler AND adoption issues, I often rocked him to sleep crying out to God for His Grace and strength and to be given the ability to love his child, this gift with the heart of Christ. And He gave me that love.
I have been thinking about how I will need to grow as N and E grow. With N we will deal with childhood issues, adoption thoughts, and unfortunately racism. He will need to know that we are parents that can listen, understand and love him unconditionally. We will need to be firm and loving and understand that he will experience things that we never have, and give him guidance as to how to handle these issues. E will have the added stigma of his illness. I can't be a parent that isn't willing to hear that I have places to grow and improve and strengthen.
So I ask Christ today give me the wisdom to parent as He would have me, with His heart and His grace. I know I will fall short. ;o) I will just continue to pray. ;o)
Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. And also the reminder of those times when I was a teen, and not so nice myself. Can't be but so arrogant and "holier than thou" when you are reminded of your short comings ;o) I prefer to be humbled. ;o)
Blessings
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Parenting...is not for wimps
This has been a weekend that has tried my parenting bone... severely.
Friday night Z came over for dinner. We were having a nice dinner until he began to tell me my faults as a parent including being arrogant and holier than thou, as well as facilitating and perpetuating family arguments. This was all over a nice dinner. geez... nothing like hearing your faults from one of your kids. Our history is a long one, his father and I are divorced, have been for 17 yrs. We started young and I know I wasn't always the best mom, I know I have some faults... but these words still hurt. Heck I was feeding him dinner and enjoying family time and then ... bam! Out came the barbs.
I decided to take it to the Lord. I didn't react to him. Just listened and waited to see if there were truth to his words. And to be completely honest went to sleep licking some wounds. As little E would say "That's no nice!"
I do know that I don't react well when other's are in a bad mood...lol I tend to then get in one, I have struggled with this for a long time. I have prayed about it for a long time too, I WANT to be the one to pull others out of their moods. I just usually am not that person, and it does totally bug me.
Then Saturday morning I was workin out, trying to work out some of my angst by punching and kicking with my Turbo Jam. And I kid you not the 40 minute work out took me 2 hours because the little guys would not stop whining, fighting and were over all not great. Every 5 minutes I was stopping the DVD, panting and sweating and asking them to stop what ever it was that was causing the other to scream. I ended up sending myself to my room after D came home because I was just in a foul mood. Punching and kicking weren't working.
So today, church was great, Sunday school was great. Then we get home and S pulls a teen moment. ugh, if you parent them... or if you have been one... you know what those are... where the teen tries your last nerve and makes you angrier than you really should be.
Button pushers... ALL of them. ;o)
These are the times when D says to me... "And you want MORE?!" And I can almost agree with him. I want SO badly to be a good mom. I want to give my kids happy times. I don't want to be holier than thou, I don't want to be the strict one. But I am also very aware that it's not my job to be their friend. I am very aware that I don't always make good parenting choices.
So for you parents out there... what do you do? How do you move past the teen barbs and painful remarks? How do you move past it when you have a morning when you just want to run out the door screaming because you just can't listen to a 4 yr old whine one more time?
I want to count my blessings. I know I am blessed, I do know that. It's just not always easy to remember those things when you are trying your best to be your best and fail miserably.
lol, it just occurred to me that I might need to go back to my God is Good post... maybe it will help? ;o)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)