Friday, October 29, 2010

Longing....

There are days like today that the longing in my heart and arms for another child become almost overwhelming… you would think that at the age of 40 I would be thinking of my empty nest.

Dreaming about the time I could spend with my hottie hubby all alone…day dreaming about sleeping in again and not having snotty boys, and cleaning up the mess around the toilet that little boys make…lol

But I am not… I long for more of that. Which is really rather ironic, because N has started his routine of acting out again. Seems a bit strange to me that the more he does that the more I want more children. Now do not get me wrong, I don’t want them to replace him!!!! I just seem to want them more… wonder if he senses that desire and it sets him off… (hhhmmm love blogging, sometimes I give myself things to think about.)

Today I was looking at pics from our mission trip in April and saw so many beautiful little faces that I fell in love with while there. Then got to go their family blogs and see so many of them home and happy and so very beautiful. I also saw the faces that are still waiting for a mom and dad to come get them and give them the love they deserve.

This waiting until January to even start the process is killing me… I thought that I would feel better knowing that at least we would be starting, but it’s almost made it worse.

So while I long for the children that are still waiting for us… I will go home and love on the ones that are already there.

6 comments:

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Praying for you......so tough to wait, but knowing that it will be good. Oh so GREAT really. May God lead you in the right direction to your next child.

James 1:27 Family said...

My heart is SO with you right now. Longing, longing, longing.... and really needing to focus on the blessings that are right here needing me.

Much love,
Amy

Adeye said...

I soooooo understand the feeling, friend. Put in your heart by the Lord Almighty. January is JUST around the corner...I promise. Hang in there. Go shopping for some GIRL clothes :):):)

Byron Hartzler; Eileen Hartzler said...

Andrea,
I tried sending to your email, but it sent it back to me. so, I'll leave it on the page.
regarding elsay and our blog: byronandeileen.blogspot.com - thanks so much for your comment. he has been such an amazing joy. Joy Casey was telling us that we got the cream of the crop with him, and Tezera called him her first star. he has been almost the perfect baby. we love him so much. he is just starting to walk now, which makes life that much more fun and interesting for us. thanks so much for your service. people like you involved in his life, make his attachment and connection to us that much easier. attachment and bonding honestly took longer for us than for him. he has embraced us since day one, which answers so many prayers.
bless you,
Byron

Andrea H. said...

Oh love, who cares about an emty nest? That sounds boring to me:) I really think the time will fly by until January especially being in the busy months already. I just cannot wait until your house fills with more little faces.

LisaShaw said...

Precious sister, I can feel the longing in the heart of your words. I pray God's peace pour out over you as you wait on Him and His timing.

I also said a prayer for your precious son, N.

You have an incredibly warm heart Andrea and that's why you so long to fill your home with more precious children. Not to suggest that people who don't do not have warm hearts because they do too but you have a special need to draw those precious little ones close to you and it is born out of the overflow of God's love in your heart. He's given you a precious ministry my friend.

Love you!