No really, there was a time when I pretty much ran the other way. I used to love Metallica and Pantara (can still sing you every word to Enter Sandman). I loved big hair bands, smoked cigarettes, went to bars and did stupid stuff.
I am not proud of it, and to be honest there are times when I forget that that is part of my past. Because I am so NOT proud of it, I sometimes sweep it under the rug and try not to let people see the lumps.
Last weekend I went to a dueling piano bar. Have you ever been to one? I haven't ...not sure they had them when I was a bar hopper... or that I would have gone, they want money to play music and I only wanted to spend my money on booze.
But last weekend a friend was having a bachelorette party and I thought I would go. The piano playing part sounded like fun, and I like the girls, and I didn't have to drink so it seemed like a good enough time.
Oh my goodness! Our waitress looked about as old as my S and was wearing next to nothing. I wanted to tell her to go back to her room and put clothes on.
The music was fun, I knew most of the songs, and I did sing. I enjoyed the talent of the guys playing piano's!! Seriously, they get paid to play songs by request, and they play them from memory...and sing them! THAT is talent...although I don't know why they waste it in a bar.
The place was packed with people... and all I could think of was... I don't belong here any more. This used to be me... but thank you Jesus it's not any more.
I caught myself being judgemental...then realized I was there. I was that person. I am still that person. The only difference is that I now know the one that died so that I didn't need to find myself at the bar looking for what it is that I was missing.
I can still sing those Metallica songs, and I will admit to getting a nostalgic when I hear one.
The thing is that I cannot forget from where it is that I come from... (I think that's from a John Mellancamp song...lol) No really... I could still be there, or worse...
I am no better...just have Savior inside of me who is....
Thank goodness because if not, the old me would have decked the little twerp in the bathroom that told me I look just like her mom!!! :)