Thursday, July 29, 2010

Mothers and Daughters

Relationships between mother’s and daughter’s can be fraught with so many different kinds of emotions.

I have a great relationship with my mom. She’s amazing. It’s not always been that way though… I mean she’s always been amazing, I just didn’t always treat her that way. Not sure why… dumb teenager with dumb hormones and way too selfish in my thinking I guess.

As I have grown so has my appreciation for her. She has more creativity in her little finger than I have in my whole body. She’s the kind of person that still sends people cards, just because. She will show up to all the kids games and presentations and is the grandmother that makes cookies, and fills the sink with water so you can give your Raptosaurus (My Niece’s fave) a bath.

I am a keep it together kind of gal. I don’t usually cry at the drop of a hat. I used to think it was a personality flaw, but now I just accept it. The thing is that if mom cries I cry… if mom gets emotional I do. I can be holding it together no problem and I will look at my mom and the water works just gush. It’s the same with her… no clue why that is, but it sometimes makes it hard to share things of importance with each other.

She is with my grandparents right now. My little tiny grandmother is in the end stages of heart failure. She was admitted to the hospital on Monday with a pulmonary edema and it damaged her heart further. She now only has about 15% use of her heart which then escalates the dementia that had already begun. She doesn’t have long left on the earth with us.

She is facing the death of her mother…

My dad called to tell me that mom may try to call but she wasn’t sure she would because then she would cry…lol Crying in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, but there are times when opening the flood gates seems harder than holding it inside. She knows I am here, I know she is there… and we know we can’t talk to each other…lol

I hurt for her as she watches her mother die… because I know someday that will be me.

Will you pray with her, and with me…and with my grandfather who loves her so?


Unknown said...

Praying for peace during this time.


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

PRAYING for you all!!!

Adeye said...

Oh my goodness, my friend, loss is so HARD!!!!! I know it. I will absolutely be praying for your whole family at this time. May God wrap His amrs around you all.

Andrea Hill said...

Oh Andrea, what an amazing post you wrote tonight. I loved how you described the beautiful way of your relationship with your mom and her as a mom. I hope she reads your blog. I am so so so sorry about your grandma but in the end she will go to a place that this earth can't even come close to. Last weekend I was listening to Celine D. song "mama" over and over(I know you don't like her) but you have got to listen to it. Its quiet emotional and pretty much sums up everything you said about your mama and grandma..

Shannon said...

Hi Andrea,
Praying for you and your family. I know that loss all to well as we said goodbye to my "Gamma" last fall. And I watched as my Mom had to let her go. I know that lump in the throat feeling when you try to hold the tears from falling. And the times that you can't keep them from falling.

May God hold each of you in the palm of His hand!

LisaShaw said...

Oh precious sister, I'm praying right now!!!

A Peculiar Person said...

I will be praying for you and your family.