Friday, February 12, 2010

It's a non-issue

E has been home now for a year and a half. Lots of things about our lives have changed, and many have just become the new norm.

I have been thinking alot more about E's hiv (I read somewhere recently that it didn't deserve big letters...I liked it) and how it effects those around him and us. A couple of things have come up recently that have had me thinking about it.

We were at his PID recently and he asked me how things were going in life, then asked how things were going at school. I began to answer basic school type stuff until I realized that wasn't what he was asking. He wanted to know about the hiv and how they were handling it. I will be honest with you, we haven't told this school.

With the first preschool being over the top and asking to have him removed, and the other one being just weird with him, we decided to let them get to know E first ...then if we had to...bring it up later. I see wisdom in this decision....and I see folly. We have recently been given the opportunity to possibly speak about him and our experience in a pretty public way, and if it works out we will have to go to the school and share with them the situation so they will be prepared.

I don't think it will make much of a difference, but I didn't think it would with the first school either. We are praying that the opportunity given to us will bring more understanding and peace than strife.

I was reading a question the other day from a mom that wondered about disclosing to a sleep over party that her daughter wanted to attend. I totally get her indecision.

Because for us this, the hiv, is a non-issue.

The fact that our kids have hiv is a non issue to us. We do not worry about contracting it, we don't worry about our kids contracting it because we are educated and careful. We just don't think about it. Some times we forget but we know that other's don't have the same luxury.

Many people just don't know that it's so very hard to share hiv. That our kids aren't a threat. I honestly don't blame any of them, I am a momma bear and if I thought someone was a threat to my child indirectly or not... I would be protecting what is mine.

This is where I run into a tough spot. I protect what is mine. I know my E-man can't hurt another child... at least not with his hiv. He may throw a toy at the kid, or knock him over on the play ground (hypothetically...he's not a violent

I also don't want to borrow trouble for him. We don't hide his status, except from daycare for now, but we also don't flaunt it. I hurt for the fact that as we struggle with this conundrum of who to tell ...who not to's not the half of what he may have to deal with as he grows.

We want to instill in him that he's special, he's amazing, he's strong and worthy... and the's a non-issue.

I know I am rambling... there are just times when our non-issue seems to be an issue ....I want people to love E for who he is, not some stupid blood issue. I don't want to have to explain him to people... I hurt for the fact that there will be those that will not want to talk to him, or play with him, or love him because of those 3 little letters.

For's a non-issue...


Unknown said...

Thank you for posting. I love that hiv is not in caps... love it!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

That is a great post.....because those in the world that are not educated can be scared, but in reality they shouldn't be. We don't have that issue, but thank you for sharing what it is like....even when it is a non-issue.