Friday, February 5, 2010

Chosen?

There's a movement afoot.

If you go to this blog you will find some amazing shirts that say "Chosen". The money raised goes to Project Hopeful. It will help families that want to adopt HIV+ children with funding as well as their project Almost Homes in Ethiopia.

What does it mean to be chosen?

When we started the adoption process I orginally felt that N was chosen for us. We put our paperwork in with the list of health and back ground issues that we were 'comfortable' with. I thought we were actually pretty liberal in our openess, but would be lying if I didn't say I was a little hopeful we wouldn't be faced with having to say no to something out of fear.

God set the plans in motion, and we were called with the information about our sweet N within a matter of days. He was 'healthy' and young and beautiful. He was what God knew we could/would handle.

What God did with our hearts through that adoption has been nothing short of amazing to me.

When we started our second adoption, I sort of felt like we were choosing...and to be completely honest with you, it was a little weird. How does one choose a child?

We moved forward. We accepted that referral for our E and then were plunged into a place we weren't even remotely expecting. Honestly we felt like we had chosen this sweet little boy while the smile that just stole your heart and the cutest little shoulder shrug you ever saw. (Never did I know how much that shoulder shrug would drive me batty later! lol)

My heart struggled with our choice of E when we were told he was near death and in a coma in Ethiopia. Had we chosen wrong? Had God not been speaking to our hearts? Was he to die before we could get there to save his life?

What I have learned in the past year was that we were in fact chosen for E. Not the other way around. If we had not chosen his referral I don’t know that anyone else would have. He was so very sick, and honestly looked so so sad and bad after his time in the hospital. Would another family have looked at his pictures and moved forward with his adoption? I don’t say that in away to toot our horns, just wondering out loud. When we got home and found out that 2 out of the 3 meds he was taking for his HIV weren’t working we realized that he would probably have gone back into the hospital in ET and not come back out.

That thought brings me to tears as I write it.

What would life be like with out my E-man? I don’t really want to know to be honest with you. There is something about him that makes him special, a light that shines to me.

We were chosen to be his parents. We were chosen to be N’s parents. N my beautiful brilliant drama king… he was chosen to be ours without a doubt.

What I have learned in this whole adoption process is that when God chooses you for something, He opens your eyes to so much more than you ever could imagine.

He can do so much more with a heart that chooses Him.

I don’t know why God chose me for this journey. I can’t wait to see what He will choose for me in the future.

Right now I stand in awe of His choice. I stand in awe at His Grace and provision. All those days we have worried about our finances, about medication, about health, about disclosure, about behavior, about other’s opinions… all those wasted days.

God has never failed us. Not once.

8 comments:

blessedmomto8 said...

LOVE those shirts :) Love your heart!

Tarah said...

Love it.
God is amazing at what he can do.:) Glad you are listening!

Who are we? said...

crying now. thinking about life without any of our children is a thought I can't bear. yes, they were each chosen by God to become our children, and we were chosen to be their parents.
We are all so very blessed.

Tiffany said...

Tears. Thank you. I read this after I sent you that most recent email and it is exactly what I need right now. Seriosuly, love how God works like that!

Chosen. Regardless of how any of it turns out it comes back to God's choice, not ours. Sometimes I just need to remember that and only that.

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

AMEN! Love that word- chosen!

Andrea H. said...

This was a very touching post. Chosen and Chosing... A lot to bite on. I still remember every step of the journey of little E and wow how God just groomed your hearts to be ready for him.

20123 said...
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Adeye said...

STUNNING POST, my friend. Absolutely wonderful. You are sooooooo right---He chose YOU! And you said YES! How I wish more and more people would say YES!!!!

What a blessing your angel boy is to you :)

Love it.