Gabe's death doesn't change who God is, or whether I think He's still pretty freakin awesome!
These last few days have been incredibly hard. It's hard to fathom the pain of losing a loved one. The thing about dogs are that they are unconditional in their love for their people. People often liken the love of dogs to that of God....lol Not to be all sacrilegious or anything. But I think it's true.
Gabe was a lover. He wanted to be with his people. If he was sleeping in a room with you, and you moved, he moved with you. He loved sitting on the couch. Yes, he backed himself up and sat with you on the couch. People who came over and witnessed that were always surprised.
He loved popcorn and his Kong toys, they were the only ones that wouldn't disintegrate in his giant mouth.
He was always there to meet you at the door, and would follow you around until you settled.
God loves us the same... only like 1000x more. He's a lover. He wants to be with his people. He wants to be part of every part of your life, even sitting on the couch with you. He wants you to notice him and enjoy being in his presence, just like he enjoys being in yours.
I don't have a clue if God likes popcorn, and I am pretty sure he doesn't need a Kong...LOL
I was feeling especially sad yesterday afternoon and I got an email from my friend T in Ethiopia, telling me about his graduation from college. He was so excited about his accomplishment, and at the same time I was listening to the song by Meredith Andrews called What it Means to Love, a song that speaks to my heart about what I have seen in Ethiopia.
It was a moment that God used to remind me that He wasn't gone. That He knew I was hurting and that He still has a plan.
I didn't think He had changed it, but I felt so off kilter from Gabe's passing. That sudden loss and sense of the rug being pulled out from under you can mess with your head... or maybe just mine.
I will miss my big love forever, but it doesn't diminish the fact that I still think my God is amazing and awesome and can still move mountains.