So yesterday I was at work, talking with …well a co-worker… who hadn’t heard that we are adopting again. It’s not like I placed an ad in the company newsletter or anything, but it’s no longer a secret.
As I broke the news that there were 2 more on the way AND that they were both around 11 yrs of age, I got the usual response, ‘YOU’RE CRAZY’ (yes she pretty much yelled it)
Now this response doesn’t really bother me, perhaps a little annoyance pops up every once in a while when we hear that, but for the most part it’s not a big deal. I get it, MOST people nowadays have 2.5 children, a dog and a white picket fence right?
Honestly 5 years ago, I WAS that person. I had 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a house with a picket (not white) fence. I was perfectly happy with life as we knew it. Our kids were almost teens and we were relatively, comfortably, living. We were not honestly thinking about building our family.
God had other plans.
This plan can only have been from God.
Some people don’t agree with our adopting again. There’s old standard, “How will you pay for college for the other kids?” “How will S afford to go to college?” “You are ruining S’s life by adding another child and taking her chances at a good school, and giving her a forever school debt”
I find myself over correcting and stressing about the behavior of my children with our families trying to make them and us something that we aren’t …and end up looking like a stress ball…because I want to be the ‘perfect’ parent so that our family will stop judging. (This one is backfiring on me since I end up looking like a stress ball …not a great fashion statement) I work on this one daily.
Perhaps we are crazy?
Maybe what we are doing is going to cause S to have debt. Maybe the boys won’t go to college? Maybe adding to the family will mess with our finances? Perhaps things will be really really hard?
Or… maybe in the stress, and hard, and debt, and lack of college (Hey my parents…the biggest college complainers, didn’t send ME to college) will be growing experiences?!
Perhaps the 2 new boys will enrich our lives in ways we never could have imagined just like our other 2 sons?
Perhaps we will grow more, see more, feel more, love more?
So, call me crazy if you want to… I am crazy about God and this is His idea, so I think I will consider it a compliment. :)
3 comments:
I AGREE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD has HIS plans and they are not the same as what our world thinks that is for sure!! :) I CAN'T WAIT to see your boys HOME!!!!! PRAYING WITH AND FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!
My parents weren't able to help me pay for college and I turned out just fine ;) I had to take out loans and depend on scholarships but that is what most college students have to do! Only the most privileged students have their parents paying for everything. I think it is kind of ridiculous when people paint the bio kids as the "victims" in this whole process. Apparently it is justifiable in some people's heads for one kid to have a full ride to college while another sits at an orphanage without access to even the most minimal education. The thought of Zenebesh or Tekle or Aaron living without a family so that I don't have to worry about college expenses is a bit revolting. I don't resent my parents at all for not being able to pay for college. I understand why it wasn't possible. My loans will be paid off eventually and it won't scar me for life, unlike the effects of spending your entire childhood in an orphanage. You are doing the right thing for everybody! Many people don't realize how much bio kids gain when their family adopts. I would not be the person I am today, with the core beliefs and life goals that I have, if my parents would have never adopted. Seeing your parents struggle financially is not easy, but you learn SO much. It opens your eyes to what is really valuable: people and relationships. I know you know all of this, but I wanted you to hear from a well-adjusted, non-resentful, loan-paying, college graduate with 6 amazing adopted siblings ;)
The whole college argument is a bad one. Blaine put himself through college. Nothing wrong with a couple years of community college then onto University. Many kids do this, work all summer, pay as much as they can and only have to take out a smalls amount in loans. I honestly think it's one of THE poorest arguments I've ever heard!
From one crazy to another!
Love,
Laura
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