This post won't be adoption related....it will mostly be me just being sad. Just a forewarning.
Last night our curve ball was thrown in the sudden death of our 8 yr old Mastiff Gabriel.
It had been a day I really just wanted to stay in bed anyway... sometimes you just get the feeling it's not going to be a good one? But, I didn't. I got up and we went to church, which was good. Then came home and cleaned the house and back yard in preparation for N's 7th birthday party.
We put the dogs upstairs since we were going to have so many people running in and out.
When we went back up to get them, Gabe didn't want to get up. At first we thought he was just mad at us for keeping him from all his peeps. He got up and came down stairs, but was breathing heavily. We thought perhaps he was over heated, or dehydrated... something that would pass. We gave him water put ice on his head and sat with him. We left him alone for a few minutes to clean up and see how he would do.
He went outside and eventually ended up behind some bushes under a tree. This is totally not normal behavior for him, so we knew it was bad news. We made a makeshift gurney and raced to the Emergency Vet. Within 20 mins he had passed.
It's unbelievable ... what just happened?
The vet said with dogs his size there can be underlying health issues and his seemed to be his heart. She said that with the rapid decline and the way he didn't respond to their attempts at reviving that there wasn't anything else we could have done.
But then comes the second guessing... what if we had taken him sooner? What if, when he first started looking funny we had taken him?
Then there's the whole feeling so badly about not always feeling the love when his 160+ self wanted to sit on your lap, or breathe in your face or eat my popcorn, or drool on my table or snore next to my bed at night...oh what I would give to have any of those things back right now.
The thing about dogs is that they love no matter what... the want to be near you and love you and no matter what you do, no matter how cranky, not matter how many times you say not now..they always greet you with a happy face and a tail wag.
Bye my beautiful big hairy love... I will miss you!